Change Your Words, Change Your MarriageSample

 Enjoy Sex 

Your words impact every facet of your marriage. However, of all the parts of your relationship, few areas are directly affected by your words as sex.

I am convinced that if we understood God’s intentions for sex, we would be astounded. We would see that in marriage, sex impacts our spirit, soul, and body. Sex is a crucial part of oneness and unity in marriage—God’s essential purpose (Gen. 2:24).

God’s blueprint for marriage is that it be in a loving, lifelong relationship. The words you speak bring life to this relationship or destroy it. Complaining, judgments, sarcasm, criticism, or gossip aimed at your spouse will prohibit intimacy and destroy unity. In this kind of relationship, sex—if it is even an active part—is often relegated to just a physical act.

The enemy’s strategy is always to try to pervert God’s design. It just takes one single word to establish how successful and perverted the enemy has reached in twisting God’s plan for sex—pornography. Pornography represents the enemy’s most significant assault on marriage. 

The f… word has become acceptable to many people in everyday language. It is a staple for shock value and attention-getting in entertainment. Merriam-Webster defines the f…word. It says, “it is, a vulgar or obscene act with a sexual partner.” Could the world get any further away from God’s design for sex?

One of the pronounced challenges you face is to keep your sexual relationship pure and undefiled. You and your mate need to talk freely (using—you guessed it—words!) about sex and commit to honor God in sexual intimacy. I’ve heard it over and again, one partner brings terrible habits into the marriage and pressures the other into sexual practices that they are not comfortable with.

In His design, the words of love, tenderness, and understanding spoken before and after the sexual experience will make it extraordinary. A man needs to find the right words to tell his wife she is desirable and beautiful (Song of Solomon 4:9). A woman must give words of respect and appreciation for her husband (Prov. 31:11-12).  

There is an intimacy in sex that makes oneness complete. It is risky. You have to talk—there are those words again—about your sexual needs. You have to come out of hiding. Sex is a magnificent adventure of mutual trust and love (Song of Solomon 8:7).