Triumph Over TraumaSample

When Despair Makes Us Shortsighted

One of the struggles with depression is that it limits us to short-sighted thinking. When we are in deep despair and feeling hopeless, we find it difficult to imagine any source of hope to heal our deep heartache. Maybe you can relate to the following statements of John.

“There is just no hope for me, Chaplain. All I ever wanted – being a Marine, serving my country, being married, raising a family – it is all gone!”

“John, you have certainly suffered great losses in your life. You have every right to be angry and feel that life is unjust.”

“Life? What kind of life do I now have? I’m a nothing, a nobody. Some reject that has been told I’m unacceptable to serve as a Marine. Then my wife files for divorce. I am an absolute loser. I have no life! That’s why I tried to kill myself.”

“John, it is very sad to hear you identify yourself as an unacceptable reject. I understand that this is what you have heard from the Marine Corps as well as from your wife. Because of your devotion to the Marines and your wife, you may likely not care how I or anyone else would regard you. Yet, I want to tell you that I believe you are a brave, resilient, talented, and caring young man who can make positive contributions to the lives of others.”

“Hmm. You don’t know me. What makes you say such things?”

“True, I do not know you well. Yet, I say these things because I once fervently believed that I was an unacceptable reject after multiple rejections for military service and ministerial positions. At the lowest time in my life, someone else believed that I was brave, resilient, talented, and caring. I certainly could not believe that for me, yet others consistently believed that for me… until I was able to grasp those beliefs myself. John, I understand that you want to end your life because I have been there. I truly identify with your feeling that there is no hope. So, that is why I am believing and voicing that hope for you until you are able to courageously and tenaciously voice that hope for yourself.”

Initially, John was unable to see how he could have a meaningful life; yet gradually he was willing to begin a discovery of hope.

In speaking with John and other Veterans like him, I think of Victor Frankl’s teaching that “meaning is not invented… it is discovered” (Victor Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning. Boston, MA: Beacon Press, 1959.) Thus in even the most dismal circumstances, I am able to believe that a meaningful purpose is yet to be discovered. However, having been in moments of suicidal despair myself, I also keenly recognize the essential need for there to be another person or people who believe that meaning can be discovered for the person in deep despair. The individual in despair does not have the energy to believe that meaning can be discovered, so a despairing person needs friends who will support and provide belief until healing can come with the clarity of meaning, purpose and hope.

When despair makes us shortsighted so that we cannot see any hope for the future, the words of Scripture can encourage us to look beyond the immediate heartache.

Readings from the Old Testament / Hebrew Scriptures

God knows me better than I know myself. I can trust that God knows my future.

Psalm 139:1-18

Sometimes, like this psalmist, we find ourselves ready to give up. That’s when we need to pray and believe in the goodness of God for our healing.

Psalm 143:4-11

God knows the plans for our lives and we need to trust that these are good plans.

Jeremiah 29:11-13

Even though we lament, we can be certain that God will hear us and give us hope.

Lamentations 3:31-33

Readings from the New Testament

In our troubles, prayer will keep us pressing on to hope.

Romans 12:12

1 Corinthians 10:13

Our struggles will not last forever. As we fix our eyes on God, we are encouraged to hold on to our faith.

2 Corinthians 4:8-18

Thoughts for Reflection

1. Remember a time in your life that you would describe yourself as being shortsighted. Write or share about this experience.
2. During such times of despair, how easy is it for you to believe that there is some relief or solution?
3. Think about your future. What are your hopes? What are your fears? List these and share them with another person whom you trust.
4. Draw a picture, write a poem, or compose a song of what hope looks like for you. Take your time. Ask God to inspire you.

Prayer

Dear God, all I see is darkness . . . a deep, dark pit of heartache. All I feel is bleak despair. The hopelessness I feel is like being imprisoned in a cage from which I cannot escape. I am trapped in a bondage from which I feel I cannot escape.

How I long for hope in my life. Even when all I see is darkness, please help me believe that there are brighter days ahead of me. Help me to see beyond this deep, dark pit of seemingly endless despair. Please grant me the grace to see a ray of sunshine and feel a breeze of uplifting hope in my life.

In your precious name. Amen.