Pastors Are People TooSample

Extending Grace to Your Pastor

Practically, as a member of a local church, don’t be so hard on your pastor if he isn’t able to immediately schedule an appointment with you. Remember, his capacity is limited. Your pastor may have ten hours built into his week to connect with members of the congregation. In many large churches, that may mean a three-month wait to personally meet with the pastor. Don’t be frustrated! Don’t threaten to leave the church unless the pastor fits you into his schedule. Understand that if the pastor were to give in to your demand for an immediate meeting to discuss your frustrations, you have just reduced his non-work capacity for that day. Because of the additional time spent addressing your concerns, he will sacrifice something. It may be an hour at the gym, the first half of his son’s basketball game, a walk with his wife, or a good night’s sleep, but something will be sacrificed! And when this is repeated day after day, destructive patterns begin to work their way into the pastor’s life.

I have dealt with disgruntled church members who have expressed tremendous frustration with their pastor’s perceived unwillingness to address a pressing issue. This is particularly common in larger churches. When I ask if they have attempted to contact one of the other dozen pastors in the church, they assure me that only the lead pastor is equipped to address this particular predicament. The other pastors do not possess the spiritual maturity or expertise to effectively tackle the crisis. In this case, I can assure you the problem does not lie with the pastor.

I often visit churches where, after the message, the congregation is informed that the speaker, several pastors, and elders will be available at the front to pray with and for people. Dozens of people line up asking the preacher to pray for them, while other pastors (many who are much more gifted) stand idly by. When someone from the leadership moves through the line informing people that there are a number of pastors willing to pray for them, they defensively let the person know that they must speak with the morning speaker, as if only he will understand the problem. It’s as if they are saying that only his prayers carry the power of the Holy Spirit. It is this mind-set that drains pastoral capacity. Only the lead pastor can counsel me. Only the lead pastor can marry my daughter. Only the lead pastor can perform the funeral service for my mother.

If you are a church member who is convinced that only the lead pastor possesses the gifts to address your needs, you have a severe case of pastoral superstar syndrome. Get over it! You may be unknowingly destroying your pastor by reducing his capacity!