Free Looks Good on You: Healing the Soul Wounds of Toxic LoveSample

Growing up as an energetic chatty young girl, I must have driven my dad crazy. I pestered him with a million questions. With lots and lots of stories. If I heard it once, I heard it a thousand times. After taking a long puff of his Swisher Sweet cigar, a cloud of smoke and frustration would billow out together. “Chrissie, hurry up! Get to the point. You talk too much.”

My father didn’t mean to discourage me, but the enemy of my soul did. He wanted to destroy my confidence. 

I can just imagine his strategy: Hmmm. A girl who thinks she has a voice? I’d better put a stop to that. And who better to use to squash my heart than someone I loved—my father.

When my dad told me I talked too much, I started to believe him. And the enemy added some flavorful accusations to my father’s impatience. Accusations like:

You have nothing important to say. 

You’d better keep your mouth shut. 

Nobody wants to hear your opinion because you’re unworthy and insignificant.

By the time I was in junior high, the energetic chatty girl was quiet. Reserved. Timid. Insecure. For a while at least, it looked like I was defeated. I learned to shut up before I ever had a chance to speak up. 

The scoundrel starts with lies that begin at an early age. He knows that if he can convince us when we’re young that we’re worthless, we’ll carry those thoughts into adulthood and into our relationships. Once the lies are embedded in our thoughts, we accept them as truth. Satan’s aim is to make us weak and vulnerable and strangle us in bitterness. 

We’ll feel comfortable with insults because they’re familiar to us. They don’t just live on the lips of people we love; they live in our heads. 

For a while, the enemy may win. But once we unravel his plan, the tables turn! I’m glad I’m onto him now. Once I figured out his strategy, I was able to install security in place to guard my castle. Now, the energetic chatty young girl is back. But this time…

I’m older and wiser. 

I’m strong and free. 

And you can be free, too!