Solid…building the Marriage of Your Dreams by Godman AkinlabiSample

Till Death Do Us Part

If only the marriage ceremony alone could result in the two becoming one flesh. In the eyes of the law, man and wife have certainly become one, but in reality, leaving and cleaving can take a lifetime. Ever seen couples that tend to think alike and react the same way when faced with the same situations? They didn’t get that way after their wedding night. It took years of building their relationship. Though stories of couples differ, one thing most agree to is that for a marriage to stand the test of time, you must be deliberate about making some decisions such as growing up, learning from wise counsel, and sticking to your marriage vows.

Couples must grow up and get rid of the sense of entitlement that people have, thinking that the world owes them favors and handouts and throw tantrums when they don’t get their way. Only helpless infants are permitted to have that kind of sense of entitlement. Work for want you want. You need to sow if you want to reap. And it’s the same in marriage. You cannot enter marriage feeling entitled to love, care, and pampering. You have to give it to get it. You have to take responsibility for the state of your marriage and how your home will turn out. 

Pride keeps many couples from getting help when they need it. You need to have a wise and trusted authority figure you respect and seek counsel from. Other people’s experiences are just as good to learn from. Don’t wait for problems to arise before seeking out mentors. Find them early and build a circle of strength and accountability around your marriage.

At a certain point in your marriage, when the full weight of your commitment hits you, you will need to decide whether or not you will check out of marriage-mentally, emotionally, or physically. When my wife and I faced stormy times in our marriage, separation seemed like the easier way out. In the seasons of trials, it seems a lot easier to give in than to push through the pain. Thankfully, we decided to stick with our vows and we are so glad that we did. Realize that what is on the other side of the trial is a solid marriage with a great spouse! Don’t quit.

Action Point: What will it take for you both to be together until ‘death do you part’? List out the things you believe are required and put your heart and might into achieving this.