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Avoiding Gossip
Doesn’t gossip seem like it should be easy to avoid? Just don’t talk about other people. At times though, it’s hard to tell if what we are saying is indeed gossip. Let’s look at four scenarios:
1. A conversation starts off with “I heard that . . .” This statement is a good indication that gossip is about to be spread. First, what was “heard” isn’t always truth. Second, more than likely, permission has not been given to share this information. Stay away from these conversations by politely saying “Is this something you should be sharing?”
2. You are listening to people gossiping, but not joining in. It’s easy to fool yourself into believing that you are not gossiping but just by listening, you are joining in. We take an active role in what we listen to. Gossipers need an audience, and you are giving them that no matter if you are one-on-one or in a group. You have a choice to stay, to walk away, correct it, or change the subject. If you can’t stop listening, you need to evaluate why.
3. Someone has hurt you, and you know for a fact that you are right and they are wrong. Venting would do you wonders. The problem is that venting conversations are not productive. It usually ends up being about why you are right and they are wrong. When you have been wronged, choose carefully who you talk to. Talk to someone who will be objective and help you heal. Don’t talk to people who will just take your side. If at all possible, talk to the person who offended you and try to work it out. Also, always bring your frustrations to God more than anyone else.
4. Someone is involved in sin and you become aware of it or they make you aware of it. Of course, you want others to pray, but here is the deal, if the person doesn’t need professional help, there is no reason to tell anyone else. The person told you, you pray about it. You don’t need others to join in. If you need to confront them about a sin and you need to do it with another person, make sure you tell/ask someone that has spiritual wisdom.
Gossip is deceptive. It can fool us into thinking that we are justified. There are times when we have to share what we have been told or what someone else has done, but those times are few and far between. Stop and think twice before you share what someone has done, what you have heard, or been told.
Doesn’t gossip seem like it should be easy to avoid? Just don’t talk about other people. At times though, it’s hard to tell if what we are saying is indeed gossip. Let’s look at four scenarios:
1. A conversation starts off with “I heard that . . .” This statement is a good indication that gossip is about to be spread. First, what was “heard” isn’t always truth. Second, more than likely, permission has not been given to share this information. Stay away from these conversations by politely saying “Is this something you should be sharing?”
2. You are listening to people gossiping, but not joining in. It’s easy to fool yourself into believing that you are not gossiping but just by listening, you are joining in. We take an active role in what we listen to. Gossipers need an audience, and you are giving them that no matter if you are one-on-one or in a group. You have a choice to stay, to walk away, correct it, or change the subject. If you can’t stop listening, you need to evaluate why.
3. Someone has hurt you, and you know for a fact that you are right and they are wrong. Venting would do you wonders. The problem is that venting conversations are not productive. It usually ends up being about why you are right and they are wrong. When you have been wronged, choose carefully who you talk to. Talk to someone who will be objective and help you heal. Don’t talk to people who will just take your side. If at all possible, talk to the person who offended you and try to work it out. Also, always bring your frustrations to God more than anyone else.
4. Someone is involved in sin and you become aware of it or they make you aware of it. Of course, you want others to pray, but here is the deal, if the person doesn’t need professional help, there is no reason to tell anyone else. The person told you, you pray about it. You don’t need others to join in. If you need to confront them about a sin and you need to do it with another person, make sure you tell/ask someone that has spiritual wisdom.
Gossip is deceptive. It can fool us into thinking that we are justified. There are times when we have to share what we have been told or what someone else has done, but those times are few and far between. Stop and think twice before you share what someone has done, what you have heard, or been told.
About this Plan
Gossip, you know it’s bad, but you know you want to. A story shared. A side comment. A roll of the eyes. All of the words we use have incredible power to build up or tear down. Words used for gossip are especially toxic. This plan helps clarify what gossip is, where it stems from, and how if we have nothing nice to say, we shouldn’t say anything at all.
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We would like to thank Markey Motsinger for providing this plan. For more information, please visit: www.markeymotsinger.com
