Courageous - Being Daughters rooted in GraceSample

Words of affirmation and compliments are important. Freely offering life-giving words of encouragement is vital to healthy development. Every girl still needs to hear that she is beautiful, smart, generous, or kind—though her worth is not based on such attributes. When we gift our daughters with words that speak to their value, regardless of performance, they will be able to filter and receive what is good and right and resist what is harmful and diminishing.

So how do we help our kids find their worth based on their Creator’s point of view alone? It starts with us—parents. We begin by teaching our children that their value is defined only by the unconditionally loving God who knit them in the womb. You can teach this directly or indirectly to your daughter but only if you accept the truth yourself. 

How you believe God views you will translate to what you prioritize in your life. In a world that wrestles with priorities every second, we must remind our daughters (and ourselves) daily to return to the Creator—through prayer, reading His Word, using our talents to serve, creating, and enjoying life. These are ways in which God intentionally pursues our heart.

We do this by recognizing that we are created with purpose by a God who loves us and sees us as worthy through His Son, Jesus. The more we seek God with the intent to simply enjoy Him and be in His Presence, the more we prevent the world’s authority and influence from shaping our identity.

Allowing our identity to be formed by anything other than God’s unconditional love for us burdens us with the three sabotages of true intimate relationship: shame, ego, and pride. In contrast, adopting God’s mind-set about who we are develops our resiliency against the temptation to accept outside judgments and pronouncements of worth. 

The world is quickly changing, but the hard evidence of the great gospel message never changes. I am confident that God’s desire is not only to recognize our unmet needs but also to draw us close to Him, as daughters, so that we are convinced of His unfailing love for us. Our daughters will learn how to receive the love of God as they practice alongside us. We are their first picture of God as a relational, loving being.

List attributes you notice and adore in your daughter and attributes you notice and appreciate about yourself. Ask God to use these qualities to protect you both and build your resiliency.