Living Lessons on ForgivenessSample

Forgiveness is not:

Forgiveness is a key part of maintaining intimacy with God and others. Forgiveness is not saying that what someone did to hurt us okay. It is not condoning their actions. Many people deny themselves better relationships and peace of mind because they incorrectly believe these two concepts. Overlooking hurts only causes them to fester. Forgiveness is not overlooking or condoning another’s actions; forgiveness bursts the boil of bitterness and lets it heal. 

If we try to suppress a hurt and avoid forgiving by saying it doesn’t matter, that is a lie. Hurts and wounds are painful and should be acknowledged as such, and, when the relationship warrants, discussed. Discussing hurts takes maturity and humility from both people. When possible, it’s helpful to say something like, “What you did hurt me and it’s hard to be close to you because of the hurt. I want to be close. Can we try to work this out?” When we say that something hurts, we’re telling the truth and not saying it’s okay. Even if we have to forgive without discussing the hurt, we need to admit it hurt, and then choose to forgive. We will look further at this. 

Forgiveness is: 

Getting these misconceptions of forgiveness out of the way helps us be able to forgive, and forgiving becomes even more significant when we understand what forgiveness really is. Whether we are forgiving another person for something they did that hurt us or something they failed to do that hurt us, forgiveness is about choosing to let go of the hurt or wound or failure and no longer holding it against the other person. Forgiveness is an act of the will that we do for ourselves in order to be free from grudges and bitterness. Bitterness destroys.

Application:

Based on today’s reading, what misconceptions have you held about forgiveness that keep you from being able to forgive others?