Living in Christ After DivorceSample

Releasing Guilt

When it comes to being a divorcee with or without children, guilt is something that I believe most of us have had to process through. I remember when I was going through a season of guilt after my divorces. I was so ready to give my children a better future and move on from my past, I didn’t take the time to allow them and me to heal. I would tell myself, they are young and resilient, they will bounce back and so will I. I was future-focused, which was good but I was not properly addressing the deeper issues of my own heart. 

As my children and I moved on with our lives, and we were creating a new normal, something began to happen. I began to feel guilty about different things regarding my children.

The guilt was not always there. It would come and go in spurts.   

Certain moments would open the door to guilt.  

Moments like my oldest son playing baseball and not having his father there to play with him. Or my youngest son saying that he wished he could have me for six months and his dad for six months.  Even not having enough money to buy my boys something they wanted when I was a single parent.  In my mind, I was to blame for these things and my choice to divorce had caused these hurt places in my children’s hearts. I convinced myself that if I had not been a runner, my children would not be suffering. I was guilty of two failed marriages.  

The guilt began to set in deep and eventually I decided it was time for me to address it.

So, I did the only thing I knew to do! I began to talk to God about all of my guilt. 

I began to spend time in his presence and hearing what he had to say to me about my past and repent for the things I had done that were not in his will. I accepted His forgiveness by grace according to 1 John 1:9 and chose to allow Him to help me parent my children, guilt-free. 

As my children got older, I learned to intentionally validate and support them in processing their feelings regarding the divorces and being separated from their other parent. I also learned to not take on the weight of guilt because I knew that Jesus died so that I wouldn’t have to carry the burden of guilt from my past. 

And he did the same thing for you!

My friend, life will always present opportunities to walk in guilt. Forgetting our kid’s lunches, missing a friend's birthday, or being a Christian divorcee whose children are impacted. However, we don’t have to live with guilt, not when we have a high priest that’s interceding for us (Romans 8:34). 

Today,  I want to encourage you to take some time to identify the guilt you’re carrying and bring it to Jesus. He died so that you wouldn’t have to carry it, so do the exchange. 

Today’s Devotional Written By Esther Hutchison of This Big House

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