When They Hurt Someone You LoveSample

DAY FOUR - MAMA BEAR SYNDROME

If you have children, you know that the hardest forgiving of all comes when someone hurts them. We can get “Mama Bear Syndrome.” Mama Bears are well-known for being crazy-protective when something threatens their cubs. Mama (and Dad) humans can be the same way. Mama Bears always take their children’s side and vilify anyone who hurts their child in any way.

As parents, we shouldn’t automatically shift into high gear, but do some investigating and find out what really happened. If we give our children the idea that they can do no wrong or that people owe them, they will grow up selfish and entitled. Sometimes the problem really did start with them, and they need to be held accountable in order to grow up into responsible, well-adjusted adults.

If they really are the victim, instead of a knee-jerk reaction, we can teach them to stand back and access the situation in light of God’s Word. 

My Story: One day my youngest son came home crying from second grade saying his teacher had yelled at him. The Mama Bear in me wanted to run and ream that teacher out for yelling at my precious boy. 

But instead, we got out the Bible, read some scriptures, and prayed for his teacher. We forgave her, and asked God to work in the situation. He skipped away from our impromptu prayer meeting, tears gone, feeling much better.

I volunteered in his class the next day, and had an opportunity to talk with his teacher. Bless her heart, she was horrified that she had hurt his feelings, and promised to try and speak more softly to him. She didn’t remember yelling at him at all. 

Then a few days later, I happened to speak rather sternly to my son about something, and he said, “Mom, don’t yell at me!” I hadn’t yelled at him, but to his little ears, my stern tone obviously cut deep and he felt yelled at. 

I realized that something like that had probably happened with his teacher. What if I had stormed down to the school and taken her to task for “yelling” at my son? Proverbs 18:13 TLB says, “What a shame—yes, how stupid!—to decide before knowing the facts!” Yikes. I would have been stupid, plus I would have missed a learning opportunity for my son, and I would have wrongfully accused his teacher.