Discover Who You Can Become When Life Doesn't Go As PlannedSample

Discovering Who You Really Are

What a miracle conception is. One sperm out of millions meets one egg out of thousands to produce us. And before that, our parents. And before that, their parents. One different sperm or egg in generations of ancestry and you and I wouldn’t be here. 

I got reflecting on this one morning during our pilgrimage, when DJ and I met a guy named Paul who proudly told us his fourth child was due any day. 

“Have you found out what you’re having?” I asked Paul.

“Yes,” he said, “we’re having a little girl.”

I thought of that little girl with her unique body and matchless face—Dad’s nose perhaps, Mum’s lips, maybe the chin or hair from a great-grandmother somewhere, that unique body and face already a someone because of the fabric of relationships she was woven into. Right then, still unborn, she was already a daughter and a sister and a grandchild and a niece, and soon to be a friend, a neighbor and a citizen. 

Pause for Reflection

Most of us in western cultures define our identity in one of two ways: by our career or our parental status. “I’m an engineer and a father of four.” “I’m a full-time mum and a copywriter by trade.” But this leaves so much out. Try this exercise to see how:

What is your ethnicity and cultural heritage?

What are your personality traits and talents?

Make a list of all your relational roles (wife, son, father, friend etc). Which are you prone to diminish by focusing on career and parenthood alone?

“Has the pregnancy gone well?” I asked Paul as we walked on.

“Actually,” he said, “it’s been stressful. The signs are pointing to our little girl having Down syndrome. That’s been hard to face, but the real stress has come from medical staff who’ve treated us with disdain for keeping her, saying we should try again for a ‘normal’ child.”

A normal child? That little girl would soon be born, be given the name Phoebe, and bring all sorts of joy, personality and talent into the world. Without her the world would miss out on a daughter, sister, granddaughter and friend. Whatever her physical challenges, scripture describes her as being fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14), and made in God’s image (Genesis 1:27) meaning she carries divine value. Try again for a ‘normal’ child? That little girl was sacred.

Pause Again

Comparison can be a deadly thing, something our society seems built to perpetuate. In the video above I share how I’d fallen for the comparison game personally. While the effects for me were less dangerous than for Phoebe, it had still led to trouble.

How are you comparing yourself to others right now?

What voices are you listening to, whispering that you’re ‘not enough’?

The best way to beat comparison is to discover who we really are. My truest identity was not as a ‘writer, speaker and broadcaster’ but as a child of God, and I had to find my worth in that alone. And I came to realize that until I dwelt in this love that reaches beyond all measure, stretching higher and deeper and wider than I can imagine, until I rested in this reality and let this love define me, I would forever seek my worth in lesser things.

Today’s Readings

1 John 3:1-2 contains the profound truth of a Christian’s identity: we are children of God, an identity that can never be taken away from us.Psalm 139:13-18 describes God’s intimate involvement in our lives, and Ephesians 3:14-19 reveals just how profound the love of God is. As you dwell on these verses today, consider:

What do these passages say about God’s valuing of you?

If all your other identities were taken away, could you be content with being God’s child?

Based on these readings, who does God wish you to become today?