Raising Sons to Fight GiantsSample

Christian parents (and particularly mothers) must recognize that the temptation to lust comes down to us from our father Adam, from our members which are on the earth (Col. 3:5). They do not originate with the world or with Hollywood. Thus, a young boy who has been kept at home, far away from the corrupting influences of the world, will still discover, after thirteen years, right on schedule, perhaps to his dismay and perhaps to his delight, strong sexual corruptions within him.

Lusts are not generally visible in such a home, but they are present in the young man’s mind. His father does not keep Penthouse on the coffee table, and he is not encouraged by his mother to make sure his “friend” is on the pill. Everything is squeaky clean, or at least that is how it looks on the outside. 

Fathers must assume that a difficult sexual struggle is occurring in their sons’ lives. Having made this assumption, a father must talk to his son and teach him. The teaching must consist of more than, “Yeah, I had this problem when I was your age too.” The teaching must be grounded in the Word of God—what the Bible teaches about masturbation, lust, fantasy, and so forth.

A father should check in with his son and not wait for his son to ask. Further, he should check periodically and regularly. Sometimes young Christian men form accountability groups with other young men, which is not nearly as good an idea as it might seem. Suppose at a meeting one of the young men confesses to having visited porn sites on the web and then masturbated during the last week. Then the other five guys say, “Oh.” Maybe they even exhort him strongly. On the other hand, if the young man had asked his father to be his accountability group, he would have found his computer privileges promptly revoked. In other words, it would be a real accountability, and not a pseudo-accountability which allows young Christian men to talk about their sexual sins without consequences.