Homegrown: Cultivating Kids in the Fruit of the SpiritSample

Living With a Patient Attitude

The other night our kids wanted a treat after dinner. Instead of immediately having dessert, we told them they had to earn it. If we had to clean up dinner, they had to help. Our son vacuumed the floor. Our daughter wiped the table and countertops. When the kitchen was cleaned, we all sat down together as a family to enjoy a treat. 

Too often, we act as if our kids cannot do things themselves. Perhaps it’s because we live such busy lives that it can seem easier just to do things for our kids instead of empowering them to independence. However, kids love structure. They need purpose. And quite often, they are more capable of doing hard things than we give them credit for. So to build patience in your kids, help them learn to do hard things first. But also treat them as if they can control themselves, because they can. 

Teaching them constructive ways to wait—like singing a song, dancing in the mirror, or drawing a picture—fosters patience. Also, instead of immediately jumping to their requests—like getting a napkin at dinner—put the napkins in a place where they can get them on their own.

Waiting can be a daunting task. Too often we get so self-focused on waiting for what we want that we miss what we really need. Imagine what the Israelites had to go through—being led out of Egypt in great anticipation for the promised land—only to be held in the desert for forty years. 

Or worse yet, imagine the time God’s people waited for the coming Messiah—more than 400 years after Isaiah prophesied that God would send the Prince of peace into the world as a sacrifice for our sins. Four hundred years of desperate silence. And we think waiting on slow Internet is brutal!

Too often we wait with the wrong attitude. It can leave us bitter and overly focused on what we want, perhaps not what’s best for us. The longer we wait with such an attitude, the more likely we are to lose hope that what we’re waiting on will ever happen.

Cultivating patient kids takes time. Teaching them to play on their own (and not with a screen) and helping them find their own interests are two ways to build patience.