Letting Go Of The Need To Be RightSample

Getting Unstuck in Life, Part III 

In the past, I felt that if I was wrong, I had failed. If had I failed, I was a failure. If I was a failure, I had no value and therefore no identity. The root issue was exposed: performance. If I have to perform for identity, I have to perform for love. For there is nothing without love. If I have to perform to be loved, then can I ever actually be loved for who I am? With that simple question, the Lord showed me that the maze ends right here—right at the gospel: “For this is how much God loved the world—He gave His one and only, unique Son as a gift. So now everyone who believes in him will never perish but experience everlasting life” (John 3:16 TPT).

Did you notice that there is no mention of “if we are good enough, if we accomplish enough, if we are kind enough, if we love enough, if we give enough, then God will love us enough to send His Son, so we could be with Him forever”? That’s why my relationships shifted. I began to see that my identity is ultimately summed up in one truth: There is nothing I can do to earn God’s love. Nothing. He loves me because I am me. He created me uniquely, wove me together intricately, and even loves my frailties! I have never known a love that was totally accepting, nonjudgmental, void of all comparisons, and based upon nothing but who I am—except maybe from my wife.

This was all new for me. Realizing that He accepts and loves me like this was profoundly life altering. No words can describe the power of that revelation for me—that in God’s eyes, I was enough, and nothing I could do would alter His tenacious love for me. As a result, I also came to see that man’s opinion of me had no correlation to who I am, or my value as a human being—my core identity.

Father, please forgive me for believing lies that disagree with the truth of who you reveal yourself to be in Scripture as fully loving, fully accepting, and fully receiving me as your child.  

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