Developing the Fruit of the Spirit in Your ChildSample

Gentleness

By Lauren Miller

Children illustrated in antique storybooks always seem to possess a sweet kind of calmness. Think of the serenity of Mary and her little lamb or Jack and Jill. Yet, children of this variety are not found in homes. Gentleness is not a trait our culture praises. But the fruit of God’s Spirit is gentleness, so parents should encourage their children to walk in it.  

The frequency of the instruction, “Be gentle with that,” from parent illustrates how young children must be told to speak and act with gentleness. They don’t naturally deny their impulses, which is why they must be taught to exercise self-control and tenderness. 

Gentleness is not set aside purely for the quiet and timid personalities. On the contrary, in no way is gentleness a sign of weakness. Gentleness has the power to cast off anger. Solomon scribes in Proverbs 15:1, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” 

A primary step towards raising gentle children is modeling gentleness. Rather than raising your voice as a reaction to disobedience, respond in soft, approachable tones. Allow gentleness to penetrate your touch and your facial expressions, even when frustration floods your emotions. Let them see gentleness in you. 

In addition to modeling this trait, verbally teaching your children about God’s heart for gentleness is fruitful. Proverbs 15:1 instructs us to respond in gentleness in all situations so when the personal anger thermometer rises we will know how to react. Anger will decrease through gentle words, and hopefully so will the anger of the recipient. Gentleness is a powerful virtue.

You can also help instill gentleness by offering second chances. My parents continually motivated my sister and me: “How can you say that differently?” or “Would you like to try that again?” Provide acceptable replacement sentences to give them an idea of a gentle answer. Giving them a chance to try again redefines the situation as an opportunity for correction and grace. 

Write Proverbs 15:1 on the bathroom mirror. Post it on the refrigerator door. Read it aloud as a family before school to brand it on your children’s hearts. Not only will they reap the benefits of gentleness, but the living and active Word of God will teach them the value of gentleness.

For more teaching on gentleness listen to, “Gentleness and Communication” on FamilyLifeToday.com.