Marriage and Family Life Reading PlanSample

Focus on the Relationship

One day I asked the students in my sixth grade Sunday school class, “Do you guys know what a clean kitchen looks like?” They all started laughing and said, “Yeah, we know what it looks like.”

“So” I said, “Why don’t you do it?”

They all replied, “We like to aggravate you guys. We like to get to you.” It is fascinating that by age twelve our children know what they ought to do, but they try to be obstinate. They may begin to look something like adults, but they’re not. We have to remember we’re raising children, so we shouldn’t be surprised when they act childishly. They have to be taught the significance of important things, because they won’t get it on their own.

First Corinthians 13:11 says that maturity involves putting away childish things. As parents, we need to first teach our children basic life skills, and then train them through demonstration and practice. If they get something wrong, we gently correct them. But if they are stubborn or rebellious, we may need to discipline them while making sure we are not provoking them to anger (Eph. 6:4).

When we assign chores and then follow up to make sure they’ve been completed, we need to inspect what we expect. We also want to make sure we don’t lose our relationship with our child. If we get so angry that we begin to sever that relationship, then we, as the adults, need to remind ourselves of what’s really important.