Teaching Kids KindnessSample

Day 2: Kind to Our Families

“Mom! She hit me!” My child’s whiny voice echoed from an upstairs bedroom down to the kitchen, assaulting my ears with all the subtlety of a freight train. She was fighting with her sister . . . again. They had called each other names . . . again. And then it escalated to one of them throwing a book at the other and the recipient smacking the first child’s arm in retaliation.

Deciding a new tactic was in order, I announced that I was going to pull out the Bicker Bucket. They watched dubiously as I grabbed a plastic container with folded slips of paper in it.

The consequence for not getting along with your sister? Extra chores or tasks, all with a slant toward kindness: Organize your sister’s shoes. Make up a song about how much you love your sister, and then perform it. Fold your sister’s laundry and put it away in the correct area. Write out an acrostic poem where the letters are qualities you love about your sister. Do one of the chores written on your sister’s list. (And if you complain or start fighting again, take a second slip of paper out of the bucket and try again.)

The funny thing was that the Bicker Bucket didn’t just shift the focus away from petty sibling infighting, it also cultivated gratitude. Each child was genuinely excited and thankful to have her sister perform a chore for her or write something kind. Kindness toward others blesses both the giver and the receiver.

Conversation Starter: Think of a time when someone was unkind to you. How did that make you feel? Have you forgiven the person who hurt you? Alternatively, think of a time when you were unkind, perhaps even to a sibling or family member. Have you apologized for your unkindness? How can you work toward restoring that relationship or resolving to be kind to them in the future?

Getting Started: Work on cultivating kindness in your home. Have each person in the family think of one way they can be kind, and then implement it: For example, helping an adult make dinner, helping a sibling clean up their room, or taking care of pets without being asked to do so.

Verses: 

Psalm 145:17

Proverbs 3:3 

Ephesians 4:2 

Ephesians 4:32