Lavender Hair: Devotions For Women With Breast CancerSample

 What Did I Do Wrong? Why Is God Punishing Me? 

My legalistic-holier-than-thou relative singsongs “Payday, payday!” whenever she hears that someone has cirrhosis of the liver or lung cancer. “They deserved it. They probably drank alcohol or smoked cigarettes.” 

That’s not what Jesus would do. He said God “sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through Him might be saved” (John 3:17 KJV). God warned that the wages of sin is death, but He knew we could not be holy. That is why Jesus died for our sins. 

When I got cancer, I blamed myself. I just knew it was my fault. God is punishing me! I thought. Maybe He was. And, that spanking worked. I do not drink or smoke anymore, and I eat for nutrition, not to lose weight. But, I don’t know exactly what God was thinking (Isaiah 55:8–9). I got genetic testing and the results were negative. The experts said my cancer was caused by chance, environmental factors, or lifestyle. 

Then, I thought of the innocent children who get cancer, and then the Bible verses from the book of Job flew into my head. God said Job was “blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil” (Job 1:8). God let everything terrible happen to that man: loss of children, friends, humiliation, loss of wealth, sores, pain. Job said, “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return there. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord” (Job 1:21 NASB). Even Hillsong’s Darlene Zschech and famous paraplegic evangelist Joni Erickson Tada got breast cancer. They serve the Lord, all the time! Maybe this whole cancer thing was a part of God’s bigger plan, something that I just didn’t see yet. 

I’m trying to get better, and not repeat whatever I was doing that made the cancer come. I drink Kangen Water I get from the local water store. I’ve switched to a mainly organic diet of fruits and vegetables, I take a spoonful of apple cider vinegar and black seed oil often, and of course, I don’t drink or smoke. Although, my oncologist says he has an eighty-six-year-old patient who drank Crown Royal all through her chemo and swears it took the nausea away! I limit my See’s Lollypops to less than one box a day. Also, I’m avoiding stress, sleeping eight to nine hours a night, and of course praying and reading the Bible a lot. 

What is God teaching me through cancer? I’m learning to trust Him more regardless of the cause or the outcome.

Tip: With the humility and gratitude of a guilty sinner having been forgiven, accept Jesus’ free gift of salvation and enjoy your redemption. Then, try to be holy, just because you love Jesus. And, good luck with that.

The story continues! Pick up a copy of Lavender Hair: 21 Devotions for Women with Breast Cancer, which I hope will comfort and remind others that they are not alone and God is still good. Connect with me at VictoriaJackson.com