Putting Guilt in Its Place

Silent Reflection

After reading the Scriptures for this week, take some time to simply pause and reflect before moving on to the remarks.

Remarks

Can we talk about guilt, shame, and conviction? No, really, can we talk about them honestly, without fear? When it comes to each of our personal journeys, these realities seem to be what define our mental and emotional health.

Is shame a good thing or a bad thing? Is it the same thing as guilt? And how does conviction relate to all of this? The Holy Spirit, we are told in the New Testament, “convicts” us of sin. Is that just another way of saying the Holy Spirit makes us feel guilty or ashamed? The point is, if I do something really stupid and destructive, I should feel bad, right? But is that guilt or shame or conviction?

To start clearing up this confusion, we should probably recognize there are many ways to define these words and talk about them. There is a psychological perspective, a secular perspective, a theological perspective. We are, of course, having this conversation from a theological point of view; that is, what are guilt and shame and conviction all about as God sees them?

First, there is the reality of guilt.It’s true that this word in our western world primarily has legal connotations — after all, court verdicts in America are rendered one of two ways: “guilty” or “not guilty” — but the word is also conveying something much bigger than that. We all live by standards, whether our own, our parents’, a mentor’s, or God’s standards. But we all have them. And the thing is, no matter which standard we might use, sooner or later we all fall short of that standard. I am not the husband, the father, or the Jesus-follower I want to be. One of the terms for this shortfall that we find throughout the Bible is “sin.” To put it theologically, guilt is our experience of our own sin once we have been made aware of it. Guilt is what we feel when we realize we have acted as less than what we want to be and who we were created to be.

In last week’s discussion, Cain fell short in his offering. He fell short of whatever standard God was using, as well as of whatever standard he had set up for himself. When Cain realized this, his face fell and he experienced guilt. This led to greater sin: the murder of his brother. After he killed Abel, Cain’s guilt became even more pronounced. Cain was guilty and there is no softening of that reality — for him or for us.

But then there is shame.Shame is when a person begins to find their identity in their guilt. While guilt is the pronounced and undeniable reality, it does not undo the fundamental identity we were given at the beginning of the story. Even though our sin can be very destructive, the badness cannot undo all of the inherent goodness that abounds throughout creation.

Yet our guilt does seek to define us. It strives to give us a new name and a new identity, one defined by our worst mistakes. If we let it, guilt becomes shame. This was true for Adam and Eve.

Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves. (Gen. 3, NIV)

Once they knew their guilt, they hid themselves and entered into shame.

God went for a walk and was searching for Adam and Eve. “Where are you?” I love the questions God asks, because they are rarely the ones I would expect. (Shouldn’t the omniscient God know where they are?)

They tell God they were afraid of Him because of their nakedness, so they hid. What would you expect God to say at this point? He will never ask, “How could you?” He will ask, however, “What have you done?” But even that is not His first question in this world where hiding is suddenly a grim reality. No, God asks, “Who told you that you were naked?”

In other words, “What other voices have you been listening to? What other voices have you allowed to define you? Who told you that the way I created you was bad?” God made them naked and it was good — but then for them, it wasn’t. They were guilty, without question, but they had been renamed by their guilt. Shame had redefined their identity.

What should they have done? What should we do when mired in shame?

Trust the story.

If you trust that your identity is found in God’s love and design and acceptance of you, then you allow yourself to look at your guilt square in the face and see it for what it is. You do not downplay its significance or run from the confrontation of it. You see it and you can accept it as yours. You can engage in the work of confession, repentance, and restitution. And then you move on, trusting the story. In 2 Corinthians, this is what Paul called “godly sorrow,” and it leads to salvation.

If you don’t trust the story, you never navigate your guilt in a healthy way. You downplay it, make excuses, or live in a state of denial and run from the need to deal with it. The other route through a failure to navigate guilt is shame and a false identity rooted in failures. This is what Paul called “worldly sorrow,” and it only ends in death.

But if you can navigate your guilt with faith [read: trust] in the promises of God, then you confront your guilt and you avoid shame by the grace of God. You are then able to walk in the truth of conviction.This journey through life enables you to grow, develop, and evolve spiritually because of this experience. It is in this space that the conviction of the Holy Spirit enables us to become (and continue becoming) a new creation. It is this space that enables us to know where we have been and use it to take us forward to better experiences.

Silent Reflection

Take some time to pause, reflect, and listen.

Response

Return to this week’s Scriptures each day as you respond throughout the week.

1. Take today’s Psalm reading, the famous Psalm 51, and go back through it. Can you identify David’s ability to see his guilt? Does he navigate the danger of shame? Are there indications of what his new life of conviction will look like?
2. Have you allowed yourself to be defined by past sins?
3. Create a space for confession, whether silent or shared. Whatever might be needed, take time to look your guilt square in the face, but without it defining you.
4. Create a space of conviction. Are there any responses that need to be voiced or written down, covenants that need to be made privately or publicly, that give shape to what your new creation is looking like?