The partner as fulfillment of purpose?

We live in an age of authentication and mindfulness. What I cannot wholeheartedly affirm, does not exist for me or is not good for me. This attitude of critically examining the ideal life imposed upon us may be initially positive. Attitudes change, and many ideals from our parents or grandparents are outdated. Yet, we rarely look close enough to our inner selves, where doubts and uncertainties lurk. We may become dissatisfied at some point because our life ideals do not offer the fulfillment we hoped for. Do we expect someone else to compensate for this lack?

We often refer to our partner as our "better half." Perhaps we acknowledge our own deficiencies and seek fulfillment in a relationship with another person. But what happens when we project our desires onto this person, who now bears the responsibility of making us happy? Can one person achieve this?

The Bible describes partnership as a positive complement: Eve saves Adam from his loneliness (Genesis 2:18-25). However, Eve could not protect Adam from evil and the expulsion from paradise (Genesis 3). The problem was the lack of trust Adam and Eve had in God, the way we struggle today to trust God in various aspects of life‘s hurts and disappointments.

Another example of a lack of trust, but with a solution, is the woman at the well (John 4). She is described as a seeker who engaged in multiple relationships that didn’t quench her "thirst for fulfillment" and instead drove her into social isolation. Jesus sees her life, and He does not condemn her; rather, He addresses her desire for fulfillment. In their dialogue, it becomes clear that the woman's "thirst" is so deep that no human could satisfy it. It is spiritual, and only God can fulfill it.

What role can a person play regarding the lack of fulfillment? The Bible describes human relationships—whether friendly, familial, or marital—as positive. The example of the woman at the well, who is fulfilled and joyful after her conversation with Jesus, shows that ultimate fulfillment comes only from God and not from a person, not even a partner. These stories illustrate how important it is for us to trust God. People can complement and support each other, but the deepest fulfillment comes only through a relationship with God. Recognizing this can help us set realistic expectations for human relationships while simultaneously strengthening our trust in God.

Next Step: What responsibility do you assign to someone concerning your fulfillment? Ask the Holy Spirit to give you a realistic view of relationships and partnership and help you discern which needs your partner can and should fulfill and which only God can fulfill.