The Marriage Talks Part 4 | Making It LastExemplo

Day 7 | 1st Corinthians 13 | The Final Word

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Hello friends and welcome back to The Marriage Talks. Kris Langham with you one more time, and today is the last word. That’s right. You made it through to the end! Which is exactly what this series is all about: making marriage last, and making it good while it lasts. Today we’ll review all that we’ve learned so far, with 1st Corinthians 13—a wedding favorite—beginning at Verse 1:

“If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails” (1 Corinthians 1:1-8).

That is one of the most quoted passages in the Bible. And for good reason. It’s about love, but not specifically about romantic love, nor was it written as instructions on how to love. We read it at weddings because, much like the fruit of the spirit, this simple list would make a mighty good marriage. Just imagine if you were both: patient, kind, with no envy or boasting, no pride or self-seeking, slow to anger, and letting go of past hurts. That’s some good lovin’. Forget the candy store stuff, this is the real deal. This is the stuff that lasts. Always protecting, always trusting. In trials, always hoping and always persevering together. That is love.

Now this applies well to marriage, but it wasn’t written about marriage. Check the context. It begins back in chapter 12 as Paul explains to the Corinthians how the gifts of the Holy Spirit are supposed to work, and what their purpose is. Much like the Galatians, the Christians in Corinth were getting it wrong. Only where the Galatians were stuck on following rules and law, the Corinthians were a little too excited about the supernatural gifts and the more impressive works of the Holy Spirit.

So Paul explains to them the gifts of the Spirit and their purpose. In chapter 12, the Holy Spirit works to bring unity to the body of Christ. Many parts, one body, unified by the work of the Holy Spirit. Christians together form one body with Jesus as the head. And with that picture in mind, the Holy Spirit functions sort of like the nervous system that helps every body part communicate with the head so we can all work together in harmony and love.

And that is a perfect reminder of our first lesson on marriage: Marriage is a covenant of unity. “The two become one.” The key to unity is humility. Consider your spouse more important than yourself. And remember our role models for that unity are Jesus and the church. Husband: love like Jesus. Lay down your life. Wife: submit to his lead. Not subjugation! Noble and humble submission as an equal child of God and coheir in His Kingdom.

That is the covenant of Christian marriage, and it requires commitment and holiness. Devote yourselves to one another with pure hearts, and set a seal on that devotion.

Back in Corinth, the believers wanted to prove their devotion to God with great and impressive acts of faith and valor. They wanted faith to move mountains and prophecy to proclaim God’s mysteries; they wanted mighty deeds, giving all to the poor and sacrificing body to great hardship. But in chapter 13, Paul says, without love, it’s nothing. All of it.

And that’s true in marriage too. Extravagant gifts and mighty deeds are nice and all, but without love, it’s worthless. Like a giant balloon, it may look impressive, but it’s mostly air. The real substance is love. That was part 2 in our talks: show love and respect in their language. That’s what the Holy Spirit is for. So dig your roots deep in the love of Christ, and let the Spirit flow through you to love and to make you one body.

How do you know if you’re getting it right? It’s not the big deeds. It’s the simple stuff for all the little days. The good ones and the hard ones too. Look back at verse 4 with me. You’re showing real love when you’re patient. And kind. No envy—which means you don’t get upset when your spouse gets treated better than you. In verse 5, no dishonor—which means no treating your spouse like they are less valuable than you.

And no self-seeking, but putting your spouse first. When it takes a lot to make you angry, and you forget the things that made you angry last time, then you’re getting it right. When you “rejoice in the truth.” Remember that joy is an expression of love. So rejoice in each other!

In verse 7, that love—God’s love flowing through you—

“…always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres” (1 Corinthians 13:7).

Husband, protect your wife. Wife, trust your husband. Husband, trust your wife. Through all the struggles of marriage and kids and everything that comes with it, always hope. Through the hardships of life, always persevere. That is love. In verse 8:

“Love never fails” (1 Corinthians 13:8b).

That means it lasts. It’s the eternal stuff. All those big extravagant deeds or impressive supernatural works. They come and go. Love is eternal. Because God is love.

And when you understand this—when you realize that your walk with God and your marriage relationship is less about the mighty deeds and more about the daily love—that is maturity. So Paul says in verse 11:

“When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me” (1 Corinthians 13:11).

So in your marriage… grow up. Mature in your walk together. Now keep having fun. And keep laughing and flirting like you did as teenagers, and enjoy life together. But grow up.

God made the two of you one, and He called you to live like it. And he offers you freely everything you need to do it: the wisdom of the Word, the power of the Spirit, and the love of Christ. All you gotta do is walk in it.

And that’s it for Part 4. One last time, I have two questions for you to discuss.

For Thought & Discussion

Question #1: Read through the picture of love in verses 4-7, and pick out two or three elements that stand out to you as essential in marriage, and talk about why.

Question #2: Make a list of three things that you learned in this series that you don’t want to forget. And for each one, write down what you will do to help you remember it for the long haul.

And that is all I have to say about that. I do hope you enjoyed the Marriage Talks. And more importantly, I hope your marriage will be blessed as you grow deeper in love and in the Lord together. Thank you so much for inviting me to be a part of the journey. I’m gonna miss you guys. Until the next one!

If you’re new to Through the Word, we have so much more in store for you. Through the Word has concise Audio Guides just like these, with clear explanations for every chapter in the Bible in our Explained series. Every book, every chapter! And there’s lots more in the Bible Basics Explained series, including the upcoming Manhood Talks. You can find many of those here on YouVersion by searching for the word explained, or you can find all of our plans free on the Through the Word app at throughtheword.org.

And I’ll leave you with the last word in the chapter. Back in 1st Corinthians 13:

“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love” (1st Corinthians 13:13).

See, I told you. The last word is love.

Read 1 Corinthians 13

All verses are quoted from the NIV unless otherwise noted.