Breaking the Patterns That Break YouSample

I knew Love. Or maybe I should say Love knew me. Though I did not acknowledge him, he met me many times. Even in the worst of places.

One day, when I was in juvie at the age of twelve, I did not hear the guard yell for roll call. Had I heard him, I would have promptly stood up exactly as I was supposed to. I did not want to get written up, because every write-up was sent to the judge determining how much time I would spend in juvie. And I wanted the judge to release me sooner rather than later.

However, when five loud blows sounded, I was sleeping. I had not heard the six-foot-something guard punching the metal door that rumbled my entire cell. Because I did not do what I was supposed to do right when I was supposed to do it, my book and mattress (which more resembled a gymnastics mat) were taken out of my room. All I had left was a toilet, a concrete slab, and a Bible.

There was nothing to do for the hours of confinement other than leaf through and read God’s love letter to me. Love met me through those thin, see-through pages....

I did not come to accept Christ in the way many others do. While I’d heard the message that I was sinful and in need of a Savior, I found that truth very hard to accept. I’d heard I was a bad kid for so long while I’d been in foster care. I hoped for someone that would see something good in me. Love knew that, so he stirred my heart when I heard him say through sermons, Scripture, devotions, and songs that he loved me, that he was my Father, and that I was worthy enough to be his daughter. After all, I had been searching for a daddy. When I opened myself up to Love, he did not enter my heart as a man who wanted to fix or judge me while banging his gavel. Through biannual court hearings, probation, and foster care, I’d met men like that, and Love was not them. Love was intimate yet protective, and he was always there, choosing me.

Prayer

Father, thank you for loving me and choosing me. Please help me share that love with others. Amen.