Why Is Vulnerability So Hard?Sample

Why is vulnerability so hard?

We have opened up and given people access to our hearts, only for them to use it to hurt us.

I had one of those experiences several years ago. We invited a man I worked with and his wife to our house for dinner. We had a beautiful meal and a great conversation. I began to share a weakness of mine: I often get tunnel vision. I can become very task-oriented. I get things done but at the cost of people feeling unimportant. The wife looked at me and said, "Do you know what your problem is?" I thought, "No, but I'm sure you will tell me."

And she did! She said, "You get so caught up in whatever you're doing. There will be one person you need to talk to about it. You come into a room and talk to that one person without acknowledging there were 20 other people in the room."

She said, "My husband will be that person, and I'm beside him. It will be as if I don't even exist to you."

I felt tiny because she was not wrong. That was my weakness, and it needed to change.

A few months later, I was preparing to preach at the church I was serving. The message needed a story to add some humanity. This post-dinner conversation came to mind. So, in that sermon, I told this story, sharing the importance of having people in your life who tell you the things you need to hear.

The following day, I got into the office, and I had an email waiting from the man overseeing all of our church's greeters. His email began, "Scott, I was so gratified to hear your story yesterday." Gratified?! Really?! He said, "I was so gratified to hear your story because I have seen you do that many times." Then he listed all the ways and times I had done that. It was like reading the greatest hits of my failures as a pastor.

If you could have seen a picture of my heart that day, it would have been torn into a thousand pieces. I thought to myself, "Why ever be vulnerable again? Why open up and share? Why try to help people if they use what you give them to hurt you?!"

That, my friend, is the challenge of vulnerability. You want to connect in your heart, but what happens is far from connection.

As someone who has done vulnerability, been hurt by it, gone through a healing process, and continued to walk in vulnerability, I'm here to help you. I don't have all the answers, but I have some hard-earned wisdom from the Scriptures and my life. I discovered that God was a safe person to be vulnerable with, and I experienced Him healing the places where I had been hurt.

Over the next four days of this plan, I will show you from a surprising place in the Bible why we struggle with vulnerability and how we can heal to move forward. I will also explain what healthy vulnerability is and what it isn't. I have some practical resources to help you turn vulnerability from a weakness into a strength.

I'm so glad you're here. So, let's get started!