Parenting Your Child's Heart -- Not Just Their HeadSample

Getting Their Heart

After the dedication of his baby brother in church, little Johnny sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, “Daddy, that pastor said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, but I really want to stay with you guys!”

We’ve learned this week that Godly Parenting is all about this: Reaching your child’s heart now so God can have your child’s heart forever.

This is our ultimate parenting goal, but how do we do it?

The first way is to BE REAL.

Solomon made it clear to his son in Proverbs 23:26 and throughout the book of Proverbs that he wanted his life to be a living example for him to follow. Solomon chose to be real.

As parents, our private faith at home speaks louder than our public faith at church. However, I sometimes find myself struggling to connect my weekend faith to my weekday life in front of my kids.

The Fruit of the Spirit is easy to learn about on Sunday while sitting in a pew, but a whole lot harder to live out on Monday when my kids are pushing my buttons.

The good news is that this doesn’t mean we have to be perfect parents (we can’t), but that our lives need to be real and godly. Our kids must see that even though our lives are not problem-free, they’re always Christ-centered.

Be Real. When you mess up—apologize. When God grows you—share it. When you struggle—be transparent.

A second way to get your kids to give you their heart is to BE RELATIONAL.

Solomon requesting his son’s heart shows that he wanted to have an ongoing relationship, not just be a rule enforcer or referee in his son’s life.

Our primary job as parents is not behavior control but seeing the bigger picture of what God is ultimately partnering with us to do—shape and change a heart.

And we accomplish this through the two non-negotiables that every child needs—a proper balance between clear boundaries (rules) and unconditional love (relationship).

Prayer: Lord, help me today to be real with my kids and to pursue a relationship with their hearts more than just getting them to conform to my rules.

Tomorrow, let’s look at two ways to proactively give your heart to your kids.