Anchored in Hope: Help for Loving Someone in AddictionSample

What are your anchors? Mine include a long list of things like prayer, quiet time with scripture, yoga, meditation, reading, self-care activities, exercise, breathing deeply, counseling, listening to something edifying like worship music or inspirational podcasts, and of course Finding Hope meetings.

But ultimately, all these anchors find their weight in HOPE. Why? Because hope can do so much:

Hope offers us confidence in the face of doubt.

Hope gives us light when we’re surrounded by darkness.

Hope is a vehicle that can carry us through the toughest days.

Hope is action—putting faith to work when doubting would be easier (and makes more sense).

But hope must always be a choice! Just as the ship’s captain must choose to lower the anchor in the midst of storms, we must choose to rely on hope. Hope is strong and will keep us moving forward, even when things look hopeless, but hope and fear cannot occupy the same space at the same time, so it’s up to us to choose which of those two anchors we’ll rely on.

In the midst of my roughest storms, I discovered that even the slimmest of hopes could work as an anchor. And then, when I felt even the tiniest bit of hope, I could find another slim hope to hold on to. And then another. And another.

Hope like encouraging words from friends and family.

Hope like going to a Finding Hope meeting and seeing people like me smiling.

Hope like hearing from some others in active recovery.

Hope like saying “yes” to my needs and “no” to some others’.

Hope like starting to dismantle the walls of shame.

Hope like rediscovering who I am and who God made me to be.

Hope like determining I was strong enough to face a possible relapse.

Hope like knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that, no matter what comes, I would be okay and God would be with me.

These hopes build on one another. I couldn’t have had that last one with all the ones that came before it.

When we turn to hope, things around us can change. But how do we stay anchored in HOPE when we have lost all hope?

Over the last few years of this work, I’ve seen that so many of us have lost hope for addicts because it feels like nothing is changing even though we keep giving and giving. It consumes all our energy, and when we lose that energy, we lose the hope. Let's try to shift that energy to get HOPE back.

We’ll talk about some concrete strategies for getting back our HOPE tomorrow, but for today, make a list of things that are taking up your energy and another list of possible ways you can build up your hope.