Sexuality

There is a crawl space under my house. Our heating system and other important things are in that crawl space. We’ve lived in this house for about a year, and I haven't descended into the crawl space. I know that looks bad on me as a homeowner, but descending into the crawl space would be uncomfortable and scary. So, for now, I’ll keep living above ground without acknowledging what’s happening beneath the surface.

It’s easy for us, as humans, to view our sexuality like I view the crawl space under my home: It’s scary and uncomfortable, so we shouldn’t acknowledge it. It’s a personal compartment of our lives with which nothing, not even our faith, should intersect. But citizens of God’s kingdom aren’t meant to live compartmentalized lives. God’s plan to redeem us involves redeeming and reviving every part of us… even our sexuality.

Jesus offers a challenging but more fully-redeemed vision of human sexuality. God desires faithfulness not just with our sexual activity, but also with our sexual desires and thoughts. His words here in the Sermon on the Mount are not exhaustive. This passage alone does not provide a full picture of biblical sexuality but it challenges our propensity to compartmentalize our lives to make parts of our human experience off-limits to God.

Read the Old Testament book Song of Songs, and you’ll quickly realize that the passionate expression of one’s sexuality in the intended context is celebrated by God. Sexuality is not something God seeks to eradicate. It’s something He seeks to protect. In his book The Common Rule, Justin Whitmel Earley notes, “Like sex, food, work, technology, and everything else that God made good, the better something is, the more it can be twisted.”

God desires to protect a vulnerable aspect of our humanity from being twisted by sin. Jesus uses intense imagery to express that we should aggressively resist and avoid anything that would compromise our faithful, healthy expression of sexuality. For nearly all of Israel’s history, God has explicitly sought to protect His people from the heartbreak and trauma of marital infidelity (Exodus 20:14). But here Jesus reveals that God’s protective care for our sexuality is more extensive than what we might anticipate. God cares about how people view you and how you view others. God cares so much about you, that He doesn't want anyone else to objectify you, even in their thoughts. The kingdom that Jesus is establishing is meant to be a place where men and women can faithfully acknowledge and express their sexuality without sexualizing or objectifying one another. Can you imagine a kingdom like that?

Discussion Questions

• Icebreaker: On a scale from 1-10, how embarrassed and uncomfortable are you when you say the word “sex” out loud? (10 being the most embarrassed)
• What would be some of the noticeable differences in culture, media, relationships, etc. if nobody sexualized or objectified another human being?
• What do you appreciate about the sexual ethic that scripture provides?
• What do you find challenging about the sexual ethic that scripture provides?
• On a practical level, how would submitting to Jesus’ teaching in this passage change how you live?