Developing Foundations for Healthy RelationshipsSample

The relationship between David and Saul (Part 1)

Within the book of 1 Samuel (primarily chapters 15-31) we read about the unfolding relationship between two men named David and Saul. It is a story with a thousand twists and turns - one fraught with admiration, bravery, victory, friendship, betrayal, jealousy, insecurity, pride, rejection, revenge, and attempted murder (a little something for everyone).

It is set in a tumultuous time in Old Testament history. Let’s set the scene: God’s chosen people, the Israelites, were made up of twelve scattered tribes. They had no central leader or government, and they were facing a constant threat and reality of war (against the dreaded Philistines!). God was their leader, but they wanted and asked for a (human) king. They wanted to be like the nations around them, and although this request disappointed God - He allowed it.

1 Samuel Chapter 8 tells us that the elders of Israel gathered together and put pressure on Samuel (who was the religious leader of the time - a great prophet) to appoint a human king. Samuel prayed, and the LORD told him to anoint and appoint a man named Saul.

Saul, we are told, was tall and handsome (not a bad way to be remembered in the history books). His reign, although completely unexpected to him, began peacefully and successfully. He had a lot of famous (and cool) encounters. He was a competent military leader, and led Israel in several victories.

However, this didn’t last. Saul stopped listening to God. He started disobeying Him and even lied to Him (never, ever a good idea). As a result, God’s Spirit left Saul, and an evil, tormenting spirit took its place (1 Samuel 16:14).

In search of relief from this torment, Saul asked his attendants to find somebody who could play the lyre to soothe him. Enter David. We are told that “Saul liked him very much” (1 Samuel 16:21). David would play, the tormenting spirit would leave, and Saul would feel better. It was a win-win.

David went on to become one of Saul’s armor-bearers - a highly prestigious title that involved carrying weapons and armor (fancy that) for the king. From this position, David went from strength to strength - perhaps most famous for defeating a huge behemoth Philistine named Goliath (1 Samuel 17).

For 40 days, Goliath (their champion!) had come to taunt the Israelites, both morning and night. We are told that “Saul and all the Israelites were dismayed and terrified” of him (1 Samuel 17:11) and that they “all fled from him in great fear”(1 Samuel 17:24).

But, with faith and fear of the Lord and choosing not to use Saul’s own armor, David volunteered to face him. Taking his staff, sling, and five stones from the stream, David faced the giant Philistine, saying:

“You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. This day the Lord will deliver you into my hands, and I’ll strike you down and cut off your head. This very day I will give the carcasses of the Philistine army to the birds and the wild animals, and the whole world will know that there is a God in Israel. All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the Lord saves; for the battle is the Lord’s, and he will give all of you into our hands” (1 Samuel 17:45-47).

Talk about confidence in the Lord! And it was so! David triumphantly struck Goliath in the forehead with a stone, causing the Philistines to run and the Israelites to win the battle. It was a great victory for Israel and the beginning of David’s highly successful military career.

Over the next two studies, we will see the relationship between David and Saul change and develop. But before going there, it’s worth pausing to stop and reflect on the story so far.

Even though the Israelite people had God on their side (creator of all things! Almighty! All powerful!), the Israelites wanted and asked for a human king. This is primarily because they were comparing themselves to the nations around them. If we are not careful, we too can have the same temptation. If we take our eyes off God and look instead to the people around us, we can easily stray into dangerous territory: we can look down at others and be filled with pride. Alternatively, we can be jealous of others and be filled with envy. We can desire and listen to human leadership and guidance instead of the Lord’s. Or even worse, we can loathe the success of others, and wish for their downfall.

Within this relationship, we see that David maintained two key things: faith and fear of the Lord. On the flip side, Saul stopped listening to God and started disobeying Him. David kept his eyes on God whilst Saul looked away.

Take some time today to think through or journal the answers to the following questions:

Are there any areas of your life in which you are tempted to take your eyes off God and instead look to the world for wisdom or leadership? Which voice(s) is/ are the primary influence in your life right now?

In what areas do you need God’s wisdom and guidance?

Are there any relationships in your life that are built on a foundation of pride, jealousy, envy, or judgment? Ask the Lord to reveal them to you, and spend some time in prayer with Him.