Baby Steps to an Affair

Devotional Content:

As we conclude this plan, I want to borrow an example from one of my favorite pastors, Tommy Nelson. In the five years before we had kids, Nancy and I played a lot of tennis. We played with friends. We played together. It was a really fun part of our life and I believe the game of tennis can help us understand what taking baby steps to an affair is all about.

Let’s take Bryan and Chelsea. They work in the same office. They pass each other in the hall and are in some of the same meetings. Both are attractive and both are married. Now let’s put them on a tennis court as if they were playing each other. Bryan gently hits the ball over the net. In the office he might say, “You really look nice today” or “You have a great smile.” As the ball comes over the net, Chelsea has a choice. Does she hit it back or ignore it? Back in the office she can say, “thank you,” and move on or respond and stay awhile because Bryan’s comment made her feel good. He just said something she has wanted her husband to say for months. So Chelsea gently hits the ball back. Baby steps. They both took steps and now the game begins as they continue to hit the ball back and forth. At the office, Bryan brings her coffee and Chelsea asks him to lunch and then they go to dinner together and they begin covering up the relationship as they tell little lies to their spouses. Then one Friday the boss comes in and gives everyone an unexpected afternoon off and Bryan and Chelsea find themselves in a room in the hotel across the street from their office building.

You can’t always stop someone from hitting the ball in your court but you never have to hit it back. Hitting the ball back is a baby step that will never have a good outcome. Here is my counsel to you. Unless you are actually playing tennis with your spouse or someone that is your same sex, leave your tennis racket at home. It will keep you from taking that first baby step. No matter who hits the ball or when they hit it, without your racket you cannot hit it back. That is fighting for your marriage!

Today’s Challenge:

Dr. Kim shares that one practical thing we can do to fight against affairs is to have someone we trust who can hold us accountable if we ever get the thought of having an affair. Who can be the person that will hold you accountable if you ever need that?

Going Deeper:

1. Dr. Kim shares that no one plans to have an affair; affairs happen in baby steps. What can you do to fight against these baby steps?

2. Whether you have had an affair or not, we urge you to fight for you marriage. What can you do this week to fight for your marriage?

3. Often times people think “It won’t happen to me,” but affairs can happen to anyone. What do you need to do to make sure you are taking this seriously and protecting your marriage from an affair?

4. Pray that our world would put the same value on marriage that God does.

Resource:

If your marriage has been hit by an affair and you need help healing and restoring you can check out our Affair Resources on our website at awesomemarriage.com and we encourage you to look into our Online Affair Recovery Course for some practical help and next steps.