The Mental Mindset of Mary, Martha & MeSample

DESPERATION v PEACE

When people feel powerless over their circumstances, they tend to look for behaviour that will make them feel powerful. The problem is we tend to choose destructive behavioural reactions, especially when we are desperate as we feel totally out of control of our circumstances.

Martha had psyched herself up so much that she reached a boiling point of desperation. Out of desperation, she got to the point of embarrassing herself in front of everyone. She gave every person in the room ammunition to look down on her and regard her as emotionally unstable. Desperation works like a pressure cooker filled with pent-up negative emotions that eventually explode in a final attempt to alleviate the inner turmoil one is in.

Desperation is underpinned by the fear that we may be powerless to do anything about our value, especially when it is built on the lie of performance. Desperation is the final fruit when we sense we are on the verge of failing. The fear increases, along with the desperate need to regain control in a last-ditch attempt to highlight our value.

Despair was knocking on Martha’s door.

I imagine Martha later regretted her momentary outburst. Once the emotion dissipates and our thinking brain returns online, we often find ourselves slapping a hand to our forehead, declaring, “What on earth was I thinking?” Well, at that moment, we aren’t thinking.

The build-up of destructive thinking patterns produces a build-up of destructive emotions which need to be released, but remember, verbally “vomiting” on someone is not helpful. This is known as scapegoating; we have all been on the receiving or giving end at some stage.

On the other hand, Mary revealed a very different posture despite triggering circumstances. Mary, in her silence, revealed a protected heart at peace. Peace is the fruit of living under His protection.

The biblical description of this word peace is “the tranquil state of a soul assured of its salvation through Christ, and so fearing nothing from God and content with its earthly lot, of whatsoever sort that is.”

Philippians 4:7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

I imagine after Jesus affirmed Mary, she found herself in that tranquil state, at total peace. She did not need to defend herself against anyone or anything; she was content in her identity as a disciple of Jesus, even in a male-dominated world.

There is so much we can glean from the behavioural reactions of Mary and Martha as we contemplate their mindsets.

Martha’s disbelief in the goodness of Jesus influenced her to become defensive, dismissive, demanding, and desperate as she tried to regain control over her value in her strength.

Mary’s behaviour reveals an identity secure in knowing her value in Christ. It reveals her position as she held onto His promises and made Him her priority, which produced patience and peace despite the circumstances. This is an incredible template to hold as we consider our behavioural choices in triggered spaces.

Remember, the complexity of any crisis is clarified and calmed in the company of Christ.

DEEP WATER QUESTIONS

• Reflect on times when your life when you have felt so desperate that it almost feels like you can’t breathe. Name the fears you experienced in those moments.
• In what way did your desperation play out negatively in your world?
• Consider what truth Jesus wants you to hold when desperation knocks on your door.
• Reflect on how differently you would live your life if you fully knew the truth of your value in the eyes of Jesus.

PRAY

Lord, I pray that you will fill me with your love, power and sound mind thinking and that your peace will cast out all fear. Help me align my mindsets with Your truth.

NOTE: This bible reading plan was created from the content of Madz's recently published book "The Mental Mindset of Mary, Martha & Me - Tensions, Tales and Truths at the Feet of Jesus" by Madz Deyzel, which is available onAmazon.Madz has also created a Workbook and free devotional videos as a resource for ladies' groups to use as they journey into the deep waters of their hearts and souls. More info on this can be found on her website, www.edify-buildingthesoul.com.