Mentoring Lessons- Handling ConflictsSample

Playing ‘out of position’

Are you familiar with the term ‘playing out of position’? Have you ever played out of position in sport? In life?

I remember the day when one of my coaches said “You are playing out of position. You are too slow!”

I was hurt by the truth in the coach's comment. I felt I had other skills needed for the position that he hadn’t taken into account.

I've watched others react in the same way when told to play in a different position in sport or ministry. It can be hard!

My country was hosting a world sports event. We needed the Lord to raise a visionary who also had administrative skills to bring many prospective denominations and agencies to work together. The challenge was significant but there was one leader who was the obvious choice.

He had worked with me and several others on the executive team of the partnering agencies. We could see he had incredible energy, a great network of agency relationships, and he was gifted in explaining the countrywide vision.

However, a problem soon arose. He was an excellent strategist, but the role didn’t need a strategist. It needed someone who convened the partners and helped facilitate their designing of the strategy. A subtle difference.

The many positives the leader brought were overwhelmed by one significant negative – he wanted to design the strategy rather than help others do it.

Tension grew within the executive group which was difficult to resolve. Though the person worked hard to change, he was simply playing out of position. He soon resigned.

Scripture to ponder –

Colossians 3:13

Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

Key Lesson: Be loving in confronting the situation if someone is playing out of position. Start an open and honest discussion to understand the reasons.