A Heart at Restਨਮੂਨਾ

Bless the Lord, O my Soul (Psalm 103)

As moms, we can be hard on ourselves…Our internal narrative can often resound with a litany of criticisms.

I should’ve had more patience with my child. I am failing as a mom.

Why does my life always feel like such a mess? Other moms have their lives together. What’s wrong with me?

I shouldn’t have snapped at my spouse like that. I’m a bad wife.

While guilt leads us to feel bad about something we’ve done, shame brings us to feel bad about who we are as a person, and its effect is poisonous. The weight of shame drags us from joyful connection with life and with God. I was in a moment of dwelling on my own shortcomings such as these when I came across Psalm 103, and it surprised me with its antidote to shame. While I was preoccupied with how I might be better, this Psalm led me down the path of not thinking about myself at all!

In my shame, this passage reminded me: God and his love are so much bigger than my sin. Occupying my mind with thoughts of myself and my struggles is giving them a weight they don't deserve. Verses 15-17 declare: “As for man, his days are like grass; he flourishes like a flower of the field; for the wind passes over it, and it is gone, and its place knows it no more. But the steadfast love of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him.”

In Tim Keller’s book The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness, he says this: “The essence of gospel-humility is not thinking more of myself or thinking less of myself, it is thinking of myself less.” Yes, God wants us to acknowledge our sin, but he doesn’t want us consumed with it; he wants consumed with his love! Freed from self, we are opened up to joy.

Psalm 103 leads us through David’s self-talk as he draws his heart to behold and to dwell on God. “Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name! Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits,” the Psalm begins. David then moves to explore these benefits, meditating upon the nature of God. He preaches these truths to his soul:

God forgives you.

He heals you.

He redeems your life.

He crowns you with steadfast love and mercy.

He satisfies you with good.

He renews your strength.

He works righteousness and justice for the oppressed.

He is merciful, gracious, and slow to anger with his people.

His love for his people is as high as the heavens are above the earth.

He removes his people’s transgressions as far as the east is from the west.

He shows fatherly compassion to his children.

His throne is established in the heavens, and his kingdom rules over all.

In this progression of statements, notice how David turns increasingly outward from himself. He begins with dwelling on what God has done for him, then moves to God’s saving relationship with all his people, then concludes with a declaration of God’s reign over all of creation. We also see David’s beginning statement “Bless the Lord, O my soul,” crescendo to, in verses 20-22, “Bless the Lord, O you his angels!…Bless the Lord, all his hosts!… Bless the Lord, all his works, in all places of his dominion.” David’s worship expands upon itself, drawing him deeper and deeper into an adoration of God.

Worship is what brings us out of our self-consumption as we behold and delight in God. When our hearts are stuck in shame, like David we can say, “Look up heart! Look at God, what he has done and what he is like!” Instead of thinking to ourselves, I’m a bad mom, or, I should be better, we can instead dwell on the goodness of our God. As we rehearse to ourselves the many benefits of God, our inward facing sight will begin to move out and upward, beholding our Lord in joy.