The Five Pillars of a Healthy MarriageSample

The Power of Connection / Community

I have experienced the positive power of community firsthand. But when you are part of a community, a group of people you connect with and enjoy, it is easy to take it for granted.

Part of my work is with elite athletes, and one of the big challenges they face is moving every couple of years to a new club. I find often, their partner struggles with the challenge of making new connections and friendships. They long for connections and people to do life with.

Personally, I experienced this when my wife and I moved to a new location recently. We left our adult children behind, said goodbye to all our established and lengthy friendships of over 20 years, and honestly, I underestimated how intentional we would need to be in finding our new community of friends in this new location.

The reality for us is that we do have to be intentional and make an effort to build friendships. It can be draining, particularly if you feel efforts aren’t reciprocated, but it’s worth persisting until we find our tribe.

As I look back, I see that we were so blessed in the season when our kids were growing up. We were part of a group of friends that holidayed together, looked after each other's children, shared the burden of school drop-off, and celebrated milestones together. It takes intention and effort, but it is worth every ounce.

Now, in this new season, we once again find ourselves with people that we can celebrate the highs, encourage through the lows, and greatly benefit one another’s lives through genuine care and deep vulnerability. I wonder, will you take the initiative in the relationships around you to establish a deeper community? If you do, you’ll find this greatly enhances your personal relationship with your spouse and those around you.

The benefits once we do find community are enormous. It contributes to our sense of well-being, life becomes more engaging, there is mutual support during difficult times, and lifelong friendships can be built. There is also the privilege of being able to encourage one another on our faith journey.

Thank you for joining us on these Five Pillars of Healthy Marriage. It is our prayer that these pillars have inspired thoughts and discussions with your spouse that will bring great fruit to your relationship.

A Quick recap of these 5 Pillars:

1. Become One - Friendship
2. Prefer Others - Honor
3. Taking responsibility - Ownership
4. Having a ritual - Sabbath
5. The Power of Connection - Community

Need more help or resource?

• If your marriage is in trouble, I suggest you seek assistance from your Pastor and organize counseling through a trained professional.
• For more resources to strengthen your marriage, I recommend “7 Principles for Making Marriage Work” by John Gottman. https://www.gottman.com/

Reflection

1. Do you have a group of friends you can share life with?
2. Write a list of people who share common values, are local to you, and you feel a connection to
3. Engage with two or three on the list for some social connection and be intentional about planning it on a regular basis