Resolving Conflict in MarriageSample

Who's the Enemy?

My koi pond was almost perfect. There were flowers, a waterfall, and brightly colored fish of various sizes gliding slowly through the clear water. It was a scene straight out of a magazine. The only thing needed to complete the picture was a turtle basking on the rocks.

Thankfully, the local pet shop had an ample supply. It didn’t take long before my new pet was basking in the morning sun, right where I hoped he would. Everything was perfect.

Until the day I caught my cute little turtle eating one of the fish. Apparently, my pond was so realistic he forgot he was a pet. Once he discovered the taste of fresh fish, nothing else would satisfy him. He tormented my fish nonstop—chasing, nipping, and lying in wait. The fish were faster, so if they paid attention, they were safe. But if they let their guard down for a moment? Lunch.

The Bible says Satan is always on the prowl, seeking someone to devour. And, like my turtle, he seems innocent. Sure, you know he could be dangerous, but you’re much faster. In fact, you swam by him hundreds of times without a problem. Eventually, you get used to him sitting in the corner and start to forget he’s there. So, each day you swim a little closer, until one day … chomp!

I recently learned about a friend of mine who was forced to resign from his leadership position in ministry because of an affair. He never thought he’d get caught up in an adulterous relationship, but he let down his guard and swam a little too close. The ripple effects of that decision tainted not only the good work he had been doing, but also severely damaged his relationship with his wife and kids.

Satan is smart. He knew he probably wouldn’t be able to take down my friend with a direct assault. So instead, Satan attacked his marriage when he wasn’t looking.

Marriage is supposed to be a living illustration to a watching world of Christ’s relationship with His church. What better way to discredit the message of Christ’s forgiveness and grace than for two Christians to break up?

This means your spouse is not your enemy. Satan is. If we are to learn to resolve conflict in marriage, we need to learn to fight the problem, not each other.

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The best way to fight the problem is through prayer. Ask God to help you see the true enemy of your marriage so you can fight with your spouse for your marriage.