The Big Five-Oh

A certain number appeared above my head, hovering there like a massive, sad cloud. 50. You are turning 50, it said, and you are done.

It felt like there was only one thing to do—throw a long, extravagant, I’m-fifty-and-life-is-over pity party. But there comes a time when you have to get up, lace up those tennis shoes with your snazzy orthopedic inserts, and figure it out. I needed to change my mindset and quit feeling like a victim of Father Time. I was fifty, but was that a bad thing? Was it really the beginning of the end, or perhaps just the kickoff of the mighty second half?

I did a slow internal audit, and I realized something: I really like who I am. Are there things I wish were different? Of course. Should I exercise more, eat better, and volunteer at my child’s school for the first time? Absolutely. Am I going to? Probably not, and that’s okay.

I made a conscious choice to make changes and view things in a new way. I decided I will live boldly, embracing all that makes me the woman I am today. I refuse to be a spectator of life. Instead, I will be a wild participant, because life is for the living. I want to be used every day, like an old Bible with marked pages, tear stains, and blessings. I’m going to soak it all up—the people, the lessons, the time. The world will know I was here.

The truth is, our “midlife” is just a pivot point, and it’s not determined by a particular number. It’s a season, a change, and an awakening. God doesn’t bring us to the middle of our lives and say, “Thanks so much for your service. We had a terrific run. Now, watch some Netflix, and I’ll call you when your time is up.” There is no “midlife” to God. We are His gift to this world at every age and every season. But I believe that THIS season and THIS age are the best yet.

God, please fill me with determination to seize this time in my life and find out what you have for me. I thank you that your plans are good—and far from finished.