[Gregg Matte Wisdom of Solomon] Deep Roots in RelationshipSample

Building Blocks

Have you ever watched a kid build something? Most of the time, a child has little understanding that the higher you want to go, the bigger the base has to be. He or she stacks every block right on top of each other, trying to make a tower as high as possible, but it wobbles and falls once it gets too high. But if you build a wide base, and then go up from there, you can go much higher.

In the story of Solomon and his wife, we have seen them build a strong, wide base for their marriage. From the beginning, Solomon made sure never to rush the relationship. He always took things slow and strategized very well. We have seen Solomon serve his love with words of praise and affirmation, and then we see he served with intimacy, but before sex can enter the picture, there’s one more block or foundational piece we haven’t discussed: trust. Sex is built upon trust. Intimacy is built on trust, not feelings. The marriage roots have been built upon shared experiences. They have gone deep. Therefore, there is now trust to be used to build a healthy balance of sex and intimacy. They do life together.

Plan date nights and lunches together. Try to get away with your spouse to be alone. Time alone doesn’t have to be dramatic or expensive or anything great, but it is needed to share experiences, to do life together. In this passage, we have talked about sex and intimacy, but sex is not the height of marriage. A marriage built on trust and genuine conversation produces sex and intimacy. Not everything has to be spontaneous; sometimes romance is planned, and sometimes it’s a surprise, but if trust is there, the romance will be all the more satisfying. Trust comes from being vulnerable with our loved ones. Trust comes from pouring out our hearts and feelings and showing our skeletons, knowing the other person won’t run away. You can’t be completely vulnerable physically until you’ve been completely vulnerable spiritually, emotionally, relationally, and conversationally in your life. We see this modeled in the way we can confess our sins unto the Lord, and He doesn’t abandon us. Because He loves us, we can be honest with Him and know He will listen and care for us. In the same way we, too, must be there for our spouses so that our trust and shared experiences can help build a foundation that will last until we see our Savior face to face.