Sex Is Good a 5-Day Devotional for Wives by Debra CheekSample

We Should Have Sex Often

Scripture: Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control - 1 Corinthians 7:5

Most of us know that sex should frequently happen in marriage, but we may wonder what that means. Is it enough to have sex once a week? A few times a month? Every day?

There is no designated number for the frequency of sex, but God does guide us in His word. In 1 Corinthians 7:5, God uses Paul to give us two important pieces of advice:

1. The husband and wife need to be in agreement. Note that Paul says, “do not deprive one another except with consent.” This isn’t a case of one spouse’s needs being neglected. This is two partners agreeing - having a discussion and coming to a consensus - about our sex life.
2. The husband and wife need to limit their time without sex. Paul says that if we agree that we aren’t having sex, it is only “for a time.” This isn’t indefinite. This means a specified period has been agreed on, and he says, “come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” Even as a single man, Paul knew that danger lurked ahead for married couples who did not prioritize sex. He knew the enemy would use that deprivation to wreak havoc.

Individual couples must determine the frequency of sex. There are seasons of life where frequent could mean several times each week, and there are seasons of life where frequent could mean several times each month. The key is that both partners agree upon that frequency and neither spouse feels deprived, neglected, or unimportant.

The goal is to have a healthy, God-honoring sex life, not to check sex off a list like we do errands or groceries. As we keep the lines of communication open with our spouses, we will find that keeping track of the number of times we engage in sex becomes much less important.

Reflection:

How would you describe your satisfaction with the frequency of your sex life? How would you describe your spouse’s satisfaction?

In what way do you feel God is asking you to align with Him about limiting the times when you don’t engage in sex with your spouse?