Wisdom for DatingSample

How Do I Know They’re Marriage Material?

Maybe you’ve been dating for a while now, and you’re wondering, Is this the person I’m going to spend the rest of my life with? Or maybe you’re not dating, but you want to be married and wonder what to look for.

Here are three helpful ways from Scripture to know if someone might be a good life partner.

1. Are they growing in humility?

A humble person is quick to admit when they’re wrong and always wants to grow. They show grace when you fall short, and forgive you when you get it wrong.

2. Do they care for others?

Do they regularly serve others, and give generously to people in need? If so, then they likely value sacrifice and compassion. It also means they’re not self-focused.

3. Are they becoming more like Jesus?

Think about them when you first met, or when you first started dating. Are they more like Jesus now than they were then? Are they gentler, kinder, and more confident? Do they have consistent habits that help them grow in faith, or are they working on developing those habits?

No one is perfect, but if you can answer these questions with a confident “yes,” then you might well have a keeper. But don’t let this list be your only source of wisdom. Talk with trusted friends and family members. Let them ask hard questions—and listen to their input.

Am I Marriage Material?

Now try reading the list again, but think about your own life. How would you answer those questions about yourself? Remember, we’re all a work in progress. But continually pursuing God’s help in developing these qualities in yourself is essential–not just in dating relationships, but for your whole life of following Jesus.

Dating relationships can bring both joy and pain. But when you ask God for help, seek wisdom from Scripture and other people, and prioritize following Jesus through it all, it helps uncover more of the joy.

Challenge: Read Matthew 5:1-12. Reflect on any words or ideas that stand out, confuse you, or inspire you. Then, read the passage one more time as you pray and ask the Holy Spirit to begin to reveal ways you can become the kind of person described in the passage. As you become more like Jesus, you’ll also discover more about the kind of person you might be interested in dating. For more on dating, check out this helpful guide.