Boundaries in Marriageਨਮੂਨਾ

Don’t self sabotage

Who knows that sometimes we are our own worst enemy? This is true of marriage also. Sometimes boundaries need to be set to protect our marriages from our own selfish, prideful, sinful, self-righteous selves. Ecclesiastes reminds us of the fickle nature of our own heart, which can lead us in one direction or another. Keeping yourself in check by implementing boundaries that protect your marriage from you can definitely help!

If you find your marriage stuck in nasty cycles of arguing, it may be time to take a look at ways you could start setting boundaries to protect your communication so that you and your spouse can maintain respect for one another even amidst disagreements.

1. Let's take divorce off the table. Threats aren’t helpful, especially ones that translate to your partner the message that you aren’t “all in.”
2. No cursing. I can’t think of a single way that cursing at your spouse is helpful to your relationship or in solving a problem. Let’s set a boundary that vulgar language is simply not allowed. If you are already stuck in the cycle of this being a regular part of communication then it may take the two of you agreeing to take a “time out” when things get heated.
3. Identify triggers. If there are certain hot topics that typically trigger an unhealthy cycle then set parameters about when and where you have those conversations. Here are some good baselines:
4. Distraction free: no phones, tablets, or TV
5. Without outside influences: children, inlaws, grandparents, friends, etc.
6. Avoid high stress situations: if your spouse just came home from a grueling day at work you might better save it if it can wait.
7. Choose a time that both of you can be mentally and emotionally present.

Even in heated moments of conflict, we can invite God to change how we respond. Choosing a “soft answer” instead of stirring up conflict; choosing to “bridle” our tongue and not say the hurtful comment – these are small real changes God wants to bring about in us that can soften our toughest arguments and make room for us to hear one another well and start getting on the same page. Consider using

Prayer:

Dear Lord, help us to not make marriage harder for ourselves or our spouses by getting in the way of good quality connection and communication. We pray for wisdom in knowing when and how to speak to our spouse and for self control when tensions arise.

Resource:

Building Healthy Boundaries: Why Every Marriage Needs Boundaries Webinar

Are you ready to build a stronger marriage with healthy boundaries?

Come and join me for the “Building Healthy Boundaries: Why Every Marriage Needs Boundaries” webinar.

This 45-minute class will help you take practical steps to setting healthy boundaries both in and outside your marriage. Too many couples get boundaries all wrong or don't know where to begin. I want to help make boundaries tangible for you!

We will talk through what boundaries are, what they aren't, and how to set them in your marriage. If you are unsure what boundaries in marriage are supposed to look like, then this webinar is for you.

In this webinar, you’ll discover:

• 6 Relational Benefits of Boundaries
• What boundaries are NOT
• What boundaries are
• A step by step guide to implementing boundaries in your marriage
• Bible examples of Jesus setting boundaries
• Tangible examples of healthy boundaries you can put in your marriage
• Answers to common marriage boundary questions

Learn more about how to set healthy boundaries in marriage!