Husbands, Love Your Wives

When Ashley and I first met, I was very much not the man I am today. I fully admit I’m no saint now, but the jerk that I was when we first met was second to none. My life at that point had one goal . . . looking out for number one. The funny thing is, after ten years of marriage, looking out for number one left me miserable.

One day on my way home from work, I was praying during my commute. I asked God to bring me to a closer place with my wife, one that was more in line with what I knew that only He could create. I realized that my life up until that point had only been to look out for my own needs, and it was the source of all my issues.

I decided I had had enough. I quit my job and changed my work-life balance. I stopped being focused on my career and escaping into video games. I decided to live as close as I could to the guide of loving my wife “just as Christ loved the church” (Ephesians 5:25, NLT). This kind of sacrificial love is impossible without the empowering of Christ. I have to daily ask God to change my heart of stone and give me a heart of flesh...and to help me put everyone in my family before myself. More days than not, I fail miserably. But the days when I abide in Christ, I always succeed.

“As Christ loved the church and gave himself” (Ephesians 5:25, NIV). These words are quite condemning for most men. Following a day focused on the roles of a wife, the men are left exposed to our own inadequacy. Men, we are directly called to put our wives before ourselves in every decision, in every priority. We are called to protect our wives, to pastor our wives, and have them held in protection so they can be presented without blemish. It is a tall order to love your wife as yourself... and only through our reliance on Christ to change our hearts can we love them with the sacrificial love that Christ has loved us with. Today, men, let’s spend time repenting of our inability to live up to this standard, and ask the Spirit to instill in us a Christlike heart of sacrifice.

Women, pray for Christ to build this into your husbands, and confess the ways you may have hindered his sacrificial leadership.

Ultimately, this cycle of loving leadership and faithful submission is a two-way street. If either spouse fails in their calling, they greatly inhibit the other from fulfilling theirs. Today, commit to reset the cycle.

We hope this Plan encouraged you. For more from Ashley and Dino, please check out their book Designed to Last.