How Should a Christian Date? A 5-Day Devotional by Eric DemeterSample

Day 4: Sex, True Purity, and Almost Jumping Out of a Moving Car

I was eighteen and stuck in my mother’s car when she smacked me with my first (and final) sex talk. She began with, “Eric, I have something to share with you,” before launching into a basic yet unsettling sex conversation. I gasped for air, completely stunned and unable to unhear the unimaginable. My head spun to the window, and I calculated how many times my body would roll on the pavement if I jumped out. The mature part of me knew she was right—I needed to avoid sex and not make any life-altering mistakes. But still, all I could react with was, “Mooooom!”

Developing a healthy Christian sexual ethic begins under the auspices of purity. I’m not talking about the kind of ring-wearing, chastity-belt-hugging, self-flagellating, superficial outer purity

that seeks only to keep you out of the gossip circle. Purity doesn’t begin with sex at all; it’s a wholeheartedness toward God. Purity is a laser-like devotion to Christ and His ways. It has the singular aim of pleasing Him and living a spiritually-focused life. Purity requires abstaining from ignominious activities, but it also entails a heart that longs to know God in an uncorrupted way.

But concentrating only on the external is taking the dead-end road of the Pharisees. They were so obsessed with doing the right things that they failed to be the right kind of people. Legalism, therefore, is born from a neglected heart and an idolized outward appearance. What is most alarming is not your battle with sex but that you can do all the right things and still be far from God.

Purity is impossible to achieve on your own merits because it is the blood of Christ, not your actions, that reconciles you to God. Whether you’ve avoided hitting a home run before marriage or slept with the entire team, your state of spiritual depravity is too wrecked for abstinence to fix. True purity is allowing Him to wash your insides so they will sparkle. An inner radiance will undoubtedly shine through to your actions, as well. 

If you’ve been promiscuous, God is offering you a giant reset button for your sexuality right now. Start by naming your sin, repenting, accepting God’s forgiveness, and committing your body to Him. Now, trust you forgiven and move forward in peace and confidence that you have been made new in Christ. 

Reflect

How does inner purity—a “wholeheartedness towards God” affect the whole person?

Prayer

Lord, knowing You more is the greatest gift that I could ask for. Help me to patiently wait for sex and to date in a way that honors You. Today, I offer my body, desires, and mind to you as a holy sacrifice. Thank you, Jesus, that through your work on the cross, nothing I’ve done will separate me from Your love.