Back TogetherSample

Keeping Your Marriage a Priority (Part I)

Leslie J. Barner

“It feels like he’s cheating on me, right in front of my face,” said a young wife who had become frustrated with her husband’s gaming habit. “He seems to enjoy playing video games with his friends more than spending time with me.”

She believed his hobby was taking her place as his top priority and felt they were drifting apart.

I remember when my husband felt this way. I was working full time, serving in the church every time the doors opened, attending to the needs of our four little girls, and writing late into the night. It seemed I barely had time for him, for our marriage.

I didn’t realize my marriage was suffering or that my husband felt neglected until he shared his feelings and asked, “When are you going to make time for me ... for us?”

Like that wife, my husband had become jealous. He felt like I had allowed other things in my life to take his place.

I discovered this kind of jealousy isn’t negative, it’s natural. The Bible says God is jealous when we allow something in our lives to take priority over Him in Exodus 34:14: “... for you shall worship no other god, for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God.”

Our spouse can experience that same type of jealousy at times.

Sure, life can get a bit hectic with many things, even good things vying for our attention. But we can still make sure that the priority of our marriage doesn’t get lost.

We can find ways—like spending time with her before gaming with friends, or cutting back on time spent serving others to lavish attention on him—that communicate, “You are my number one. Nothing is more important than our marriage.”

Action points: What would you guess is the main priority stealing attention from your marriage? What are some things you can do differently in your daily life and routine to keep the priority of your marriage from getting lost? Or to regain it as your top priority, and communicate to your spouse that he or she is your number one?