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Sexpections: God, Intimacy and Your Love LifeSample

Sexpections: God, Intimacy and Your Love Life

DAY 3 OF 7

Day 3

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” (John 10:10)

You’ve heard or read this verse countless times. But let’s apply it to sex. 

Because of the religious messages you’ve heard you may have come to imagine living with sexual integrity as a lifestyle of NO, of trying hard to comply with a specific list of do’s and don’ts. Or conversely, you may have said “it feels good, so that means it must be OK.” 

If you’ve been trying to live that way up until now, how’s that been working for you?

You probably know by now that “trying harder” only wears you out. You might be successful for a little while—a day, a week, a month or more. But sooner or later your willpower is overcome and you “mess up.” The shame that follows only adds insult to injury. That’s the end result when you make this about behaviors, and not first about matters of the heart. 

Jesus said He did not come to steal something good from you. Stealing, killing, and destroying is the enemy’s method, and he would love nothing more than for you to “blame” God for his own dirty work. But you’re wiser now; you’re not going to fall for his lies any longer. 

Jesus came to bring you LIFE—life in abundance, more than enough, excessive, overflowing, more and more and more. Think of any moments in your life when you have felt fully alive. The fullest most extravagant, meaningful, sustainable life you can possibly imagine, with no nasty aftertaste. And that’s only the beginning. 

So instead of do’s and don’ts, think in terms of life and death. God designed sex to be life-giving. He is for what gives life, and against what steals and destroys. Have you been experiencing life from how you have been stewarding your sexuality? 

Might you have been expecting sex to bring you life? Remember that Jesus said, “I am the … life.” (John 14:6) Going to sex for what sex was never designed to provide only leads to destruction. Going to Jesus first for life means sex, and everything else, can be part of you experiencing that fully alive life He intends. 

So rather than trying harder to comply with a list of do’s and don’ts, this is an opportunity to embrace the kind of life Jesus created you for. Since He created you, He knows best what brings you that kind of life. 

Heavenly Father, I choose to trust that Jesus came, not to take something good away from me, but to give me a LIFE that is full. I choose to embrace that life. Forgive me for when I’ve believed You are withholding goodness from me. I ask that You show me a glimpse of the fully alive kind of life You offer me because of Jesus, and how Your design for sex is part of that good life. Thank You. Amen. 

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About this Plan

Sexpections: God, Intimacy and Your Love Life

Culture says, “anything goes.” The church says, “Do this, don’t do that.” But sexuality and intimacy are not first about behaviors; they are primarily about matters of the heart. In this 7-day plan, Dr. Carol Tanksley shows how addressing these deeper matters of the heart will lead you to find freedom from shame, healing from wounds, and true intimacy as God intended.

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