After Doubt By A. J. SwobodaSample

Day Two: Knowing the Whole Self

Scripture: Psalm 16:7, 33:14-15, Romans 2:12–15

Do we know ourselves?

For Christians, pursuing knowledge of God is standard fare. The Christian should seek God, growing in knowledge of His character. We do this part well. But rarer are Christians who passionately pursue a working knowledge of the self. It is often only after a personal crisis, failure, or loss of meaning that we begin the journey inward to learn about ourselves. But what if knowledge of the self was not an enemy of the knowledge of God? What if knowledge of our whole selves was part of our knowledge of the holy?

When self-knowledge is ignored, the results can be devastating. In mental health professions, increased attention has been given to the restorative power of self-knowledge for those who’ve endured trauma. Knowing ourselves isn’t just about being healthy though. It also includes learning about God. The two go hand in hand. As Paul writes in Romans 2:12–15, God’s reality and truth are “written” on the hearts of everyone in both conscience and intuition. Because our hearts and minds were formed by the living God, something of God can be learned by looking at what He made.

We must remember the invitation of Jesus: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength” (Mark 12:30). To love God with our actual heart, mind, soul, and strength means we must at least know about the very things with which we are loving God. We can’t know how to love God with our mind and our strength until we understand what our mind and our strength actually are.

Self-knowledge unearths so much about us—our experiences, goals, motivations, and questions we have about God. That is why examining the heart behind our question is so crucial. Jesus will lovingly make space for our honest questions. But not for our critical skepticism, nor dishonest questions or attempts to trap Him. 

The posture of our heart matters. God desires us to become radically honest and self-reflective, learning to grasp the light and darkness in our own hearts. The goal in all of this is that we approach self-knowledge as a way to worship and love God more fully. It is an exercise in learning about the kind of God who loves people like us.

Be as honest as you can and write down your questions of doubt you need God to answer this week.