The Heart Attitudes: Part 5Sample

Clear Up Relationships

Ephesians 4:31-32, “All bitterness, anger and wrath, shouting and slander must be removed from you, along with all malice. And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ.”

Matthew 6:14-15, “For if you forgive people their wrongdoing, your heavenly Father will forgive you as well. Be if you don’t forgive people, your Father will not forgive your wrongdoing.”

How do we forgive others who have offended us? What are some practical steps to take to make that relationship right again? Harold Bullock offers the following suggestions.

Speak Privately, do not embarrass them in front of others.

Plan wise words, choose, and practice the words you will say in advance.

Introduce the idea that you believe something is wrong with the relationship and that you have been hurt by the situation.

Explain how you understand what has happened, tell them why you feel hurt, and ask if you have understood the situation correctly. If you have misunderstood, tell them so and thank them for being a part of a significant relationship in your life.

If they indeed have offended you, ask them to not do so again.

If they ask for forgiveness, forgive them! If they do not ask for forgiveness, forgive them anyway to fulfill the words of Jesus in Matthew 6.

Forgiving them will not mean you never remember what they did. It means that you will choose not to let that taint the relationship moving forward. You are releasing them from the need to pay back the damage they have done to you. 

Refuse to replay the offense in your mind and stir up the resentment that once dwelt in you because of the offense.

We need to be willing to forgive them as many times as Christ has forgiven us. Forgive them as often as necessary. This does not mean we put ourselves in a position for them to harm us physically or emotionally over and over. We should get out of physical abuse as quickly as we can. We should also not allow mental abuse to take place. We can forgive and move away from those who hurt us repeatedly without holding grudges for past offenses. It is not possible to do so without the help and power of the Holy Spirit living in us as believers in Jesus Christ.