Aspirational Community 

As I walked into the group exercise class at my local YMCA for the first time, I glanced around the room. Women were grabbing dumbbells twice as heavy as the ones I had selected, and they looked like what I was hoping to look like in the not-too-distant future.

As I told my friend after the class, I pick which classes I attend by looking at the women who are in them. I want to be in the classes with the women who are slightly ahead of me, who are where I want to be someday. Rather than finding them intimidating (which they could be if I let them), I find it motivating and encouraging to see what they’ve achieved.

I do the same thing in my spiritual life: I look for women of wisdom who are loving God and loving others well, and then I support their ministries so I can learn from them simply by being in their circle. Having others come along in quiet support is encouraging and life-giving, and what starts as me simply serving and learning from a distance often blossoms into friendship on some level.

Carol, a spiritual mother to me, came into my life in this fashion. I volunteered for years in her organization, learning from her from afar, before she and I got to know one another. She is a treasured friend and a rare find. Almost as importantly, I have also developed a number of mentoring acquaintances through this approach—women I have coffee with once or twice a year, picking their brains, listening to what they are doing (or not), asking questions, and learning from their wisdom and experience, even as our circles overlap only tangentially.

I am influenced by those I surround myself with. I very intentionally seek out women of spiritual depth, women whose lives look like the one I am journeying toward, so that I might learn from them. Wisdom bubbles up and flows around us when we sit in proximity to the wise.

Today’s Act of Friendship: Consider who is spiritually wise in your already-existing circles that you can draw closer to or what aspirational community you might join so that you can grow through their influence.