Uncommen: Man EyesSample

Good Communication 

Furrowed brows, grunts, nods, and one-word answers are not communication. Or at least they are not effective forms of communication if someone is trying to hold a conversation with you. 

If you've never read the book by Gary Chapman - "The Five Love Languages," I would highly recommend you start it today. We each have ways we communicate and ways our spouse communicates. Sometimes they are the same and sometimes they are different from each other. But the essential point is to find out how your spouse communicates and communicate to her that way. 

There are five love languages: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch.
 

Example:

Jack speaks: Words of Affirmation and Physical Touch

Jill speaks: Acts of Service and Quality Time

Jack wants to show his wife; he loves her and buys her flowers. He does this for several weeks in a row, but his wife doesn't respond.

REASON: Receiving Gifts is not one of her love languages. She wants Jack to spend time with her, and he doesn't.

Example:

Jack speaks: Words of Affirmation and Physical Touch

Jill speaks: Acts of Service and Quality Time

Jill wants to show her husband; she loves him and buys him a new pair of shoes. She also fixes his favorite meals for the last few days, but her husband doesn't respond the way she thought he would.

REASON: Acts of service and receiving gifts is not how he communicates. He may want some encouragement or some intimacy.
 

I know this may sound oversimplified, but when you find out how your spouse communicates...communicate to them that way.

Once you start to speak to each other in a language they respond to, you will find that your conversations are much more productive. You won't be frustrated, and you will start to get the responses you were expecting from your spouse. The real question is, are you ready to put in the work to find out what your spouse's love language is.
 

Uncommen Questions

Do you know what your wife's love language is?

No? Will you find out today?

Yes? Do you communicate in your language?
 

Uncommen Challenge

I challenge you to find out what your spouse's love language is and then start to express love in that language.

Scripture Reference:
Ephesians 4:29