Holy Noticing: How A Christian Can Practice Mindfulness Sample

Relationships: Assess the health of your relationships 

Have you ever talked with someone when you started to notice they hadn’t heard a thing you said? Or has your mind ever wandered in the middle of a conversation, as you rehearse what you plan to say in response? That has happened to me and it’s quite embarrassing. 

A part of our brain activates when we’re thinking about ourselves or what others may be thinking about us. When that happens, we aren’t truly present for others. Perhaps that is why James instructs us to “be quick to listen and slow to speak” (1:19).

Holy noticing helps quiet this circuit, which in turn helps us be more present with others. Rather than rehearsing what we want to say next, this practice helps us suspend our automatic responses in favor of being present so others feel fully heard. 

The second component of the BREATHe model, R, refers to assessing the health of your relationships. For this practice, imagine an image of concentric circles. The concentric circles exercise is a visual way to inventory the health of your relationships. As you prepare to practice this skill, envision who you might place in the inner circle, perhaps family members and friends who are close to you. Then envision who you might put in the outer circles, perhaps work associates, neighbors, church friends, or extended family. 

You’ll begin by thinking of someone in the inner circle and asking yourself questions such as: “How are things in my relationship with this individual? Is our relationship healthy? Is there some work I need to do? Is there something I should be praying for in this relationship?” Then make your way through as many other names in the inner and outer circles as possible. You will probably spend the most time in the inner circle unless something is amiss in a relationship in one of the outer circles.

If a difficult person comes to mind during this exercise, lovingly bring them before God. Hold them before Him with open-hearted, non-judgmental, loving attention. Pray for God to show them His love. Pray that God would increase your love for them. Pray that He would show you how to act when you’re around them. As you do this, you will become more inclined to favorably respond to them the next time you meet.