The 7 Roots Of AngerSample

Root 5 — Lies & Cover Ups

Have you ever been angry when you found out someone was talking negatively about you? Perhaps it was a rumor attacking your character or tarnishing your good name. How did you feel? How much time and energy did you spend being angry with someone over something that was never true in the first place? Or, if what was said was true, how much time and energy did you waste railing against the rumor rather than addressing the truth and making the changes necessary to live a godly life?

I once heard about a man accused of bad behavior in his dealings with various staff members who worked at the country club where he was a member. He was on the club’s board of directors and took it upon himself to make certain that some jobs were done solely because he thought they needed to be done—it was “his way or the highway.”

When his bullying behavior came to light and the results were calculated in terms of money wasted, he was asked to resign. The board intended for the matter to be dealt with privately, hoping to protect members’ personal friendships with this man and his family.

However, his wife, believing he’d been treated unfairly, jumped to his defense. Before long, the entire club knew what had happened. Sides began to be taken over who was right and who was wrong. The wife openly, and in detail, described all the ways she thought her husband had been wronged. 

In their mutual anger, the man and his wife decided to sell their club membership. Their hasty and noisy departure meant their children would no longer be included in the activities of the other young people who’d become their friends. It also meant the couple would no longer have contact with their friends. Needless to say, they left a lot of hurt feelings in their wake.

This happened in a small city. As such, many of their friends at the club were also their friends at church. Feeling they could no longer associate with the club or its members, the couple uprooted their family and left the only church their children ever attended. And when this man tried to join another club, his application was denied after the reasons behind his departure from the previous club came to light. Behavior rooted in anger led this family to a steep decline.

In the months that followed, the wife who’d stood by her husband in denial and anger was forced to face the truth about his control and anger issues. The very things she’d believed couldn’t be true were true and behaviors once considered unthinkable were present and pervasive. When the truth finally came to light, this woman and her children were emotionally devastated—and without the support of their closest friends.

What’s the lesson here?

Anger based on rumors, partial truths, or full-blown lies can take you down a long, dark road of disappointment, frustration, and heartache. Confronting the truth may be painful, but always remember the alternative can be far worse.