Developing the Fruit of the Spirit in Your ChildSample

Goodness

By Sabrina McDonald

In 1968, Harvard student Kent Keith published “The Paradoxical Commandments” to help high school leaders learn to change the world: 

People are unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered. Love them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow. Be good anyway…

Keith’s guidelines could be summed up in one word: goodness. 

Today, many are interested in justice, rather than goodness. They want what they deserve. But goodness doesn’t seek fairness; it seeks what’s right, even if it’s unfair.

Easton’s Bible Dictionary defines goodness as “the deliberate preference of right to wrong, the firm and persistent resistance of all moral evil, and the choosing and following of all moral good.” Goodness is action, not feeling. 

Jesus said, “The good person out of his good treasure brings forth good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure brings forth evil” (Matthew 12:35). We should deliberately store good treasure in our hearts so that good may come from its abundance. These suggestions will help foster goodness as you parent your children. 

Let your kids fail. Children need to know that actions have consequences. The results of bad choices should be a deterrent to wrongdoing. But if you rescue your child from the school principal, or spare a deserving punishment, they won’t see that goodness has better results. 

Trust them. After spanking my kids I want to say, “The next time you do that, you’re gonna get double!” But when I see shame on their faces, I hugged them and say, “I know I can trust you not to do that ever again.” They need to know when they mess up that our confidence hasn’t been lost forever. 

What goes in must come out. What are your kids watching and listening to? What are the lyrics to their favorite songs? What kinds of books, movies, and video games are they exposed to? Each one of those words and images is a treasure stored in your child’s heart. Store the good, and filter the evil. They can’t produce good if all their treasures are bad.

For more on goodness read, “Does Good Parenting Guarantee Good Kids?” on FamilyLife.com.