Stop The Fighting - Part 2: Breaking The Cycles Of Unhealthy ConflictSample

The Right Fight

Devotional Content:

It took us a long time in marriage to learn to fight without having a winner and a loser.  During the two years that we dated in college, Nancy and I fought, or at least we thought we fought. If you compared our fights during our dating years to our fights in the first years of marriage, it would be like high school football compared to the NFL.  We went from amateurs to pros in just a matter of months. 

Both of us were stubborn, strong-willed, and determined to never lose, which was a big part of our problem. It was amazing. Even though our marriage was crumbling around us, no one was giving in. Sometimes I thought I won and sometimes Nancy thought she won. The truth was that there were three losers. Nancy, me, and our marriage.  

We associated conflict with fighting. We had no idea that couples could disagree and settle the argument in such a way that there were three winners instead of three losers. That idea never even crossed our minds until finally one day, we both came to the same conclusion at the same time: We could not go on this way. Something had to change. We loved each other a lot and we were each other’s best friend, but we still fought like enemies. Therein was the issue. We had to quit fighting each other, put God at the center of our marriage, and address our conflicts together with Him. 

Today’s Challenge: 

On a scale of 1 -10 (with 10 being the highest), how important is it for you to “win” when there is conflict? Are you willing to work on your competitiveness to improve your marriage?

Going Deeper:

What is one thing that you can do to put God at the center of your marriage and your conflicts?